So it's been awhile

I have been busy and have kinda stayed away from the whole blogging idea for the last couple weeks. I've been trying to think of anything noteworthy to update with and this is all I've got:

- Remember how I got a flat tire while my nephew was in the car? Well he has yet to quit reminding me that my car is busted and that "Chelsie, you really shouldn't busted your car." Well, then a couple of weeks ago he was over at my apartment when my sister and I were bringing in groceries. My sister accidentally dropped a thing of sodas on the ground where 2 promptly self destructed. I brought the rest into the apartment and set it on the counter. As soon as I did, several cans dropped to the kitchen floor and burst open. The soda sprayed EVERYWHERE . . . the walls, the microwave, the ceiling, etc. I was kinda staring in disbelief when Ridge, who was watching from a couple feet away looked amazed. He then said, "What happened Chelsie? Your house 'splode (explode)?" So now he tells me that my car is busted and my house 'splode. Just Grand.
- I saw a trainer/fitness chick/hater-of-all-that-is-pain-free a couple of days ago. She apparently though I was in training to become a line backer, because she had me doing up-downs and all kinds of crazy exercises. By the end of it I couldn't feel my legs, and now I wish I couldn't feel my legs. It hurts so bad that I can barely get out of a chair, let alone walk. I've procrastinated anything that requires movement including going to the bathroom and sneezing. I'm now walking so funny that I've contemplated finding a wheel chair for the next couple or months, or whenever my muscles recover - whichever comes first. Which is ironic because I'm supposed to be working out so I could walk more, not less. I've learned my lesson: Exercise is bad for my health.

Yeah, that's pretty much it. Pretty boring.

So I cannot say goodbye

I'm in a predicament. So, to try and explain you have to understand that I am about the opposite of a hoarder with most things. I do not like holding on to a bunch of stuff, and have, on several occasions, thrown perfectly good items away. I'm talking clothes, movies, cds, childhood items, etc. I know it can be seen as wasteful - but I just hate having so much CLUTTER everywhere. If I don't use it - it's gone.

With that said, I randomly get extremely attached to certain things. I'm sure you're thinking that this is totally normal. However, let me demonstrate how I'm once again NOT normal.

The year is 1995 and I am in fifth grade. The world became fascinated with the scrunchie. All the girls in my grade literally couldn't go a day without accessorizing with a scrunchie on the wrist. And it was never just one scrunchie . . . it was always several (apparently in case some fatal accident occurs that requires the assistance of multiple scrunchies to . . . hold someones hair back.) So being the cool, classy chick that I am (don't all laugh at once) I followed suit and wore more scrunichies on my arm than anyones hair called for.I came in from recess one day and realized that in the process of walking around the fields (because playing on the swings was SO beneath me) I had lost a scrunchie. I immediately became so devastated that I rushed to my teacher and tearfully explained that I lost my scrunchie at lunch and absolutely HAD to go outside to find it. She pointedly looked at the remaining perfectly good scrunchies wrapped around my wrist and told me that I couldn't, but that she was sure it would show up in Lost and Found the next day. It didn't. I was so traumatized over this, that YES, I obviously still remember it. Being that attached to a hair accessory isn't healthy.

Well, it's happening again. You might remember that my computer is dying. It's been dying for awhile now and I'm having a hard time accepting it. And there's no doubt that it's over for this computer. It's literally being held together with masking tape in some places (aren't you surprised that I didn't use hot glue?) (not that I didn't think about it. But the masking tape was closer. I think that's how all life decisions should be made . . . which way is faster?). This computer has played it's last song, it has surfed it's last web, it has . . . well, you get the idea. And I was recently able to buy a new computer. The new computer is amazing - it has everything that the old computer doesn't have (um, it's functioning) and more. And yet I do not want to get rid of the old computer. Certain siblings have even offered to take it off my hands to squeeze the last bit of power out of it. It's probably selfish of me, but I can't let it go. I have had this computer for 4 years and I've used it pretty much every single day. I'm pretty sure this computer is going to be sitting on my desk until I'm 72. Like I said, I'm in a predicament.

So have you ever gone into a room and forgot what you needed? Yeah, I did that. But instead of a room, I went to WalMart.

This last week I was supposed to have 4 days off of work. Instead, I decided to do overtime. Not because I missed the wonderful world of work, but because everything I own apparently had a secret pact to all break at the same time. My TV died (we've been over that), my computer is on it's last leg, my cell phone is randomly freezing and turning itself off, and my dresser literally rocks back and forth when touched. It's gotten so bad that I've decided that any clothes in the dresser are off limits - it's not worth risking it's collapse. So I worked 11 hours on Thursday and was exhausted when I got home. However, I had to rearrange my bedroom because my parents were getting me a new Queen sized bed on Saturday. Currently I have a twin sized bed (I KNOW!!) so, I have to move furniture around to make it all fit. And I decided to completely organize EVERYTHING in my room in the process. Because I apparently thought that I needed to reach new levels of exhaustion. After I completely finished I was getting ready for bed because I had to be at work the next day at 5 am. I was so ready for bed and then I realized that in the process of moving and organizing, I had completely lost my alarm clock. And the only back up alarm I have is my phone. You know, the phone that randomly freezes and dies. Super reliable. So I decided to tear everything apart looking for for the clock. Hours later, I gave up the search because it was close to 2am, and I had to be up at 4:30. But I still couldn't sleep because I was so sure I wouldn't be able to wake up. Even when I did kind of drift off, I would wake up in a panic, sure that I overslept. So Friday I was kind of in a fog of exhaustion. It wasn't pretty. But I was determined to get everything done. I finished work and remembered that the day before I had made a long list of things I needed at WalMart. I remembered that there were several things that I really needed for the weekend. So I got to WalMart, and had gotten into the store before I realized I couldn't remember even one thing I actually needed. I was walking around thinking that blankly staring down every aisle would help me remember something, anything. No luck. And in my sleep deprived state I was really upset thinking that I would leave empty handed. So I decided to grab the closest item and buy that so my trip wouldn't be in vain.

Which is why I left WalMart with a peach candle.

So this post is kinda a bummer . . . .

I haven't written in awhile because all I have to say are complaints and angry sarcastic rants. Nothing big has gone wrong, but lots of little super annoying things keep happening. Any one of them I could handle and laugh at. And some days I do just that - but then something else happens and I want to break something. Ok, so I'll try to put this in chronological order:
1. This is long - you may want to skip. . . . I decided to remake my wall thingy because I kinda hated it. It was super ugly and annoying. So, I thought I'd learned from the past and would use wood this time and it would be super easy. Yeah, right. I got the wood and paper for the project and would use mod podge to seal it together. So the mod podge thing wasn't getting the paper to stick to the wood, so naturally I decided to mix glue with the mod podge. Because my improvisations with crafts make me a winner. Nope, that just made the paper all lumpy and gross. My sister took the job over and showed me how to correctly mod podge, and when we needed something flat to smooth the paper out over the mod podge, I grabbed my driver's license. Naturally. So my driver's license is mod podged. Because I screwed up so many of the boards, we had to go and buy more scrapbook paper and redo them. Then they had to lay out in my tiny apartment on the couch, table, and basically every surface. The next day I realized that although I had bought wall hanging kits, I had only bought 6, because apparently I suck at math and didn't count the 9 boards that I actually had. I thought it was safe to stack the boards because they were spread out everywhere until I could get more hanging kits. That melded the boards together and ruined 2 of them. That I had to redo. Again. It eventually turned out ok - but I am so bitter over the effort it took. Grrr.
2. My TV broke right after I got DVR. I was able to get a smaller, but still functioning tv from my sister though, so I figured it'll work until I save to buy a new one.
3. My DVD player stopped working. We were able to figure out (after awhile) that it was just a bad cord. That could be replaced - so it wasn't a total loss.
4. I filled a prescription and then lost it within 24 hours. The entire thing. I tore apart my apartment and car looking for it to no avail. I then had to fight with the pharmacy to get it refilled. At the same time I got an ear infection and had the fun experience of dealing with the nurses at work that could not be more condescending and rude. They finally gave me prescriptions for my ear and the prescription costs ended up costing more money then I had a available, because my insurance is ridiculously horrible.
5. My DVR broke. The geniuses at Cox couldn't figure out what the problem was and sent a guy out to replace it. I told them I don't get off work until 5, so they would have to come after that. They said that was no problem and I promptly got a call at 4:15 from the Cox guy that he was outside my apartment. When I finally got there (after 5), he was not happy. He replaced the box, saying that would fix it. I lost all my saved shows, and had to reprogram all my recordings. Which is kinda time consuming, and annoying.
6. Not even 5 days after getting a new box, my DVR broke again. With the same problem. That happened last Saturday. This was also the day that my towel rack decided to fall off the wall and my refrigerator door handle broke off. Then, I also got infested with bugs. They're these little flying things that I found out (after much trial and error) can be killed with windex. So my entire place (including my face) ended up coated in windex while I tried to kill these suckers. There were a ton - I counted over 50 that I killed alone. I found that they were coming out of the drains, so I plugged all the drains which meant I couldn't wash dishes and freaked anytime I had to take a shower. I went to WalMart hoping to find something that kills unidentified bugs and all I could find were these fly papers. When I got home and took it out of the box it looked like a roll of film. I pulled on the ribbon attached to this roll of film and out came a 3 ft long roll of the most disgusting sticky stuff ever. That I got stuck to my face. Don't ask me how. The guy came out Monday to replace the cable box AGAIN. And he was completely rude. He just walked back into room and back to my closet. Without asking. And I really didn't think cable guys NEEDED to go into my bedroom (they never had before) so it was messy. So embarrassing. And what he needed wasn't even in the closet, and I could have told him that, but he didn't ask. So I lost all my shows again, and had to setup all my recordings, AGAIN.
7. Then, yesterday after work I tried to see if the tv was working. And it wasn't. It was freezing every couple minutes so that you can only catch pieces of conversations. I called Cox, spending close to an hour on the phone, and the guy said he needed to reset my box. I asked if this would erase all my shows and make me re-setup all my recordings. He assured me that it wouldn't, and then got off the phone. When my box restarted, it not only erased everything again, but it didn't fix the problem, so I had to call back AGAIN. And they have no solution except replacing it. Again. It's like a really bad version of Groundhog's Day with this stinking company.
8. Work. I've been careful not to discuss work online because it's dangerous, but I will just say that holy cow, it is adding to the list. In a big way.

This isn't even everything, but it's all happened in the last 3ish weeks. And I'm ready for things to be boring. Honestly.

*END OF ANGRY BITTER RANT*

So I had a dream . . . . and my subconscious is weird.

My dreams are not normal. This shouldn't be surprising, really. They have plot lines, music, a motif, etc. They tend to be incredibly amusing. Last night I had a dream that I was auditioning for the play 'Man of La Mancha'. I'm a horrible actress - this is something my high school Theatre teacher will passionately agree with me on, so I'm a little confused as to why I would be trying out. Anyway, before try outs started, the Playwrite was making 'improvements' to the play. He wanted it to be different. So he added a character to the play. The character was a hamster that would roll on (not in) a ball throughout the scenes. But the Playwrite was having trouble coming up with the perfect name for the character. In desperation, he turned to all of the waiting auditionees to help. He said that whoever came up with the best idea for the character will get to play the character. This was, of course, the only possible way I would get cast. Everyone yelled out ideas, "Fluffy!" "Speedy!" "Fred!". And then it became my turn. And my idea, was . . . "Sir Mix-a-lot!" Naturally. So, I got the part. Because that was obviously the best name. I was the hamster that ran on a ball during the play while 'Baby Got Back' played in the background. SCORE!

So if I wear something cute it means I'm risking losing my job. Lesson learned.

This morning I woke up later than usual and threw on one of the few tops I have that I actually like. I tend to have tops of the circus tent variety, but this one is actually almost cute. I rushed out of my apartment having exactly 2 minutes to get to work before I'm considered late. And I hate being late so I'm hustling to my car. As I'm power walking (because running would just cause an injury - let's be honest) I noticed a woman in the parking lot. She was in her pajamas, staggering a litte, and could barely hold on to the cigarette she held in her hand. She was coming right at me, with purpose. So I did the only sensible thing - I decided that she was coming to attack me and that this parking lot would be the place where I would take my last breath. Ok, so I may have overreacted. She abruptly came to a stop a couple feet in front of me, tilted her head, squinted, and then said,

"Oh. You're not who I thought you were."

I breathed a sigh of relief, smiled, and continued my race to the car when she stopped me with,

"I really like your top. Where did you get it?"

Trying to end the conversation as fast as possible I said,

"Hey, thanks. Yeah, I don't remember where I got it-"

and then she interrupted,

" Well was it Kohls? Old Navy? Dilliards? How about Sears? I get my coats there . . . was it Sears? How about Target? Burlington? . . . "

I kept trying to explain that I didn't remember and casually bolt to the car but she just wouldn't let it go.

" . . . Savers? Garage Sale? Hey, why do you park over here? Don't you live way in the corner? Right? Don't you? You can have my spot . . . I lost my car to my stupid ex-boyfriend so I'm not using it. You wanna use it? . . . ."

This went on and on and all I could concentrate on was counting just how many minutes I was going to be late to work. I finally got to work . . . . 7 minutes late. All because of a cute top.

I got back tonite after having dinner with a friend and was pretty excited to utilize my new DVR to watch all my recorded shows. I had a pretty horrendous day at work and this would help me end the day on a positive note. I settled into the couch and attempted to turn the tv on. It responded with a clicking noise - but it wouldn't turn on. There is nothing like a broken tv that will make you re-examine your purpose in life. I said a final farewell to my tv and started looking thru Craig's list looking for a cheap replacement. Because life is not complete without mind sucking tv episodes. Well, I didn't really have much luck. I don't know if it's me, but the goods on craig's list have gone considerably downhill. For example, I came across this gem:

For those that don't have the ability to zoom in, the post is from someone trying to sell a tv - their description says: (my favorite parts in bold)

" This led flat screen television is a magnavox but does not work. It turns on but nothing comes out on the screen. Everything looks great on the outside - - the screen is not broken, no scratches, and it includes remotes but one remote isn't in great shape. I don't know what's wrong with the tv since I just purchase another tv instead of trying to fix this one . . . "

And they're only asking $75 for a broken tv. Sounds like a STEAL. Sign me up for that.

So my body and I are in a fight. And I'm losing. Again.

Remember the whole sleeping thing? Yeah. That was actually going ok. And then my work schedule changed and my body revolted. I had finally trained my body on when to go to sleep and when to wake up - I had an early schedule at work meaning I had to wake up at 6 am for 2 months, which is basically the entire time I've been off sleeping pills. Then my schedule changed so that I didn't have to wake up until 8:30 am. I was super excited about all the sleep I would get. If only I knew.
The first morning of the new schedule, I woke up panicked at 6 am. My body was shouting, "It's time to wake up!!"Once I saw the clock, I had to kindly tell myself to go back to bed. Then my body would freak right out and wake up 15 minutes later screaming, "WAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUP!", just like a three year old would - you know, turn on the lights, jump on the bed, and start screaming in your face. The only appropriate response is a stern lecture and a warning, so I did just that and my body reluctantly settled down. Only to repeat that pattern every 15 minutes until 8:30. I'd trained myself into this Pavlovian response that my body was not appreciating being broken of. It started getting a little better after a week and then . . . of course, my schedule changed again. The first day of the change was yesterday, and I had the HARDEST time trying to get any coorperation. And I'm pretty sure I ticked my body off (I know it's weird that I talk about it like we are 2 different people, but that's how it feels sometimes. And now I'm pretty sure everyone is diagnosing me with multiple personalities. Terrific.) and so last night it refused to go to sleep. You know, in protest. I pretended not to notice, so that I didn't feed into it. Just like you would if a two year old was throwing a temper tantrum. That did nothing. But thankfully I got DVR over the weekend (which I am IN LOVE WITH) so I was able to distract myself from the fact that it was 4:30 in the morning and my body was sulking in the corner refusing to sleep just to prove a point. So I got 2 hours of sleep last night. Fun stuff. But the DVR . . . I don't know how I lived without it. It's like Christmas every time I turn on my tv and there's new shows to watch. And shows that I like. I can't tell you how many times I've watched the same infomercial in the middle of the night because I couldn't sleep and nothing else was on. Which can be expensive, because HOLY COW they are inventing some cool stuff lately. Like this glue that can hold anything including a hammock holding two small children (which shouldn't be tried at home) at only $18.99 plus shipping. What they don't tell you is the shipping costs more than the product. Yeah, it's defintely cheaper to have a DVR.