So Redbox and I broke up.

Awhile back, I rented the Social Network from Redbox. And then I promptly lost it. I didn't even have it in my possession long enough to watch it. Every single day I would randomly search for it - in the most random of places because that's where all my lost items tend to be found. After searching under the sink, in the dryer, and on the porch, I kind of gave up. I figured Redbox would just figure it out and charge me for the dvd and we would resume our normal renting and watching movies pattern. Which they did - they charged me $25. Then Redbox decided they don't want to be friends anymore. Even though our friendship is based on me giving a ridiculous amount of money for a nonexistent dvd. They won't let me rent from them now. It's all very tragic.

Speaking of terrible news, my laptop is dying a slow torturous death. I started to see the signs a couple of weeks ago. I guess I should have known it was coming - I've had this laptop for 4 years now. Which in technology age it's like Joan Rivers. It has started randomly restarting, suddenly exiting windows, running frustratingly slow. So I started looking at new laptops and saving a little. Then I got sick and . . . . well - this is kinda of gross, so I'll give you fair warning. So, I accidentally threw up on my laptop. I really wish that was a punchline, but no - I legitimately threw up on my laptop. So whatever wasn't broken before, definitely is now. So it has developed even more interesting quirks. The cursor thing double clicks on stuff without being touched - which means all the annoying ads get clicked on and when I try to close them, I end up double clicking on it which opens more windows. Random keys stopped working and others you have to push for awhile to get it to register. So every time I have to get online it's like a freaking adventure. I never know what's going to happen next.

So I think I've figured this whole sleep thing out. And by 'figured out' I mean 'accepted the fact that I am not normal'.

So remember how I don't sleep? And how I've quit taking ridiculous amounts of sleeping aids because I didn't want to force my liver into early retirement? So it hasn't been easy but I think I've figured out of formula of what I have to do in order to sleep at night. If I skip one step, I get little to no sleep. I figured maybe some of these techniques will help others that can't sleep, so here it goes:

- Wake up ridiculously early. Like 6am early.
- Work for 11 hours. Race around the building all day long getting to meetings and listening to callers yell at you.
- Don't drink any kind of soda after 2 pm. Even if it doesn't have caffeine. In fact, just don't drink anything after 2pm.
- Get home and tackle some kind of project. Clean the entire house, re-organize your closet, alphabetize all your dvds, etc.
- Write a To-Do List for the next day so you can stop stressing about forgetting something.
- Around 8pm start a 'bedtime routine'. This is very similar to what you would do with a toddler to get them in the routine. Take a shower at the same time every night, brush your teeth, and if you really feel like reminiscing, put on some baby lotion.
- Turn off all lights, and force yourself to lay in bed (no books! no movies!).
- Don't let yourself out of the bed no matter how much you may cry. You'll just get distracted and end up watching an entire season of Lost.
- Remind yourself to not freak out that it is 2 am and you still haven't slept - this just getting your brain freaked out which is not conducive to sleep.

If these are all not followed, I get very little sleep. But, hey! I get some sleep and that's what counts. I think.