Thursday, July 29, 2010

So this week inhaled profusely

This week has been the worst week work-wise that I have ever had. And that's saying something, considering I've had some CRAPPY experiences at work. Including (and I truly wish I was stretching the truth with all of these . . . but no. All true):
  • When I worked at Water World as a lifeguard and fell into the wave pool and took down the entire wood siding with me. Good times.
  • The time I worked at AMC 30 and was the only one that showed for the usher shift on New Years Eve for the entire theater. Which meant I had to clean all the bathrooms, all the throw-up in the aisles, all the spilled popcorn for all 30 theaters BY MYSELF.
  • The time I worked as a massage therapist at Lavenders and the hydrotherapy room flooded so we spent the day carrying out all the furniture of the entire spa and sweeping out the water without being paid (because no clients=no pay). Oh, and the electrical sockets were ON THE FLOOR so they were covered in water that we were wading in. Slightly dangerous.
  • The time I was a manager for Geppedos porcelain dolls and I spent an entire night by myself in the dark in a storage unit organizing impossible inventory whilst several rats ran around.
  • The one day I worked as a tele-marketer selling trash bags in some creepy hole-in-the-wall office in downtown Phoenix with 15 skeevy men that smoked the entire time, leaving me nauseous and wondering what life choices I made that led me to a job where I sold TRASH BAGS. (Wow, that is a long sentence.)
Yeah, this week tops all of those. It is THAT bad. I can't really go into details, because I kinda don't want to be fired, but take my word for it, it's pretty dang horrible. And after looking at this list I'm wondering . . . does everyone have such bad luck with jobs?

Tuesday, July 20, 2010


So I started bringing my lunch to work (I'm on Day 2, go ME!) because apparently I don't eat enough (go figure). But I generally eat one meal at the end of the day after work and that's it. This is apparently bad for you. So I've been bringing breakfast, (because I won't wake up early enough to eat it at home) 2 snacks, and a lunch to work. It feels like I'm bringing the entire contents of my fridge to work every day. It is SO MUCH FOOD. But I'm on Day 2 and I've thought it's been going pretty well. Until just now.
So I brought one of those Smart Ones pasta imitations to work today. I heated it up for like 7 minutes because I never look at the directions, and the tomato sauce was like lava. I brought up a spoonful of the pasta up to my mouth to blow on to hopefully cool it down to slightly less hot than lava temperature, and on the first blow I blew the SCREAMING HOT PASTA into my . . . chest. It completely bypassed my shirt and went INTO the most awkward spot you can get pasta stuck in and like buried itself so it was no longer visible. And did I mention that the pasta was hot? Because I'm pretty sure I have 2nd degree burns going on because I couldn't exactly go mining for ziti in front of my colleagues.
Lesson learned: Stop bringing food to work. It's dangerous.

Monday, July 19, 2010

So this is what I've learned this week.

  • Moving is no fun. As in an evil, no good, hateful activity that does not get easier the more you do it. (Oh, did I not mention that I moved? For the 11th time in 7 years? Well, I did.)
  • Things that are broken before you move will be completely unusable by the time it reaches its destination. (cough, cough, like this side table)
  • Things that weren't broken before will break in the process of moving. Nothing a little hot glue can't fix, right?
  • If you leave your hot glue sticks in your car in Phoenix for 2+ days, they will become one large glue stick.
  • No amount of candles/febreeze will cover the stench of smoke from previous occupants.
  • It's a heck of a lot easier to live in a first floor apartment vs a third floor apartment.
  • Talking to people in call centers SUCKS. Especially when you work in one and can pinpoint what they've done that is against call center regulations.
  • There is a point that your brain will stop remembering yet another address, apt number, and mail box number. Which will make it a little difficult to to change your address with eleventyhundred different companies.
  • If you don't buy a router for your internet, you will be tethered to a wall whenever you want to use the internet, causing you to stand next to the tv to access it.
  • After purchasing a router, you should kidnap a smart person to set it up for you . . . .because setting up a router is hard.
  • Living .5 miles from work doesn't mean you'll get there earlier.
  • Navigating a 12 seater van at Sky Harbor airport at 6am is no fun.
  • Procrastination hits whole new levels when you procrastinate a surgery. (Yeah, I need surgery on my ear. And I've decided to pull it off until next year because I can't take that much time off from work right now.)
On a side note, if you or someone you know lives in the Thatcher/Safford area, you should check out my sister's preschool. She's enrolling kids right now and does a pretty awesome job. Check out her preschool blog here or email her @