So I went to the doctor. Again.

So I went to the ENT surgeon yesterday. Good times. Seriously, I have never been more entertained by any other dr's waiting room before. First of all, it seemed to me like everyone was SCREAMING at each other. They were all talking SO loud and I was wondering for a second why that might be . . . . until I realized they were all there to see the ear doctor. . . . I'm not the quickest (and apparently not quite as deaf as some). Because they were all yelling things that people would normally whisper, I learned WAY too much about them. We bonded. Without them even realizing it. I now know them better than some of my cousins.

There was one older couple and the man was filling out the patient intake form. Well, apparently the old man forgot every single sickness he's ever experienced in his life. He kept asking (very loudly):

"MILLY, HAVE I HAD PNEUMONIA?!"

and she would always reply,

"Yes, Frank."

"MILLY, HAVE I HAD VD?!"

"Yes, Frank."

Then there was a younger couple with a 3 year old son. How did I know he was 3? Why, because they announced it to the waiting room. The little boy was playing and everything he said was just so incredibly adorable that the mother found it necessary to repeat what he said (by yelling) and then adding inappropriate commentary. And, for some odd reason the young couple were sitting like 15 feet away from each other. There were enough chairs, but I guess the husband was tired of being yelled at from 6 inches away. The 3 year old kept telling everyone that it was his birthday. So the wife would look at her husband and go,

" IT'S MY BIRFDAY! HOW CUUUTE. WHAT TIME IS IT?? 2:05??!! OK, SO 3 YEARS AGO THIS TIME I WAS AT WHAT? 3 CENTIMETERS? OR WAS HE CROWNING? I THINK HE WAS CROWNING."

and then the little boy would say it was his birthday again and the woman would scream,

"THAT'S RIGHT! IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY! 3 YEARS AGO YOU WERE CLIMBING OUT OF MOMMY'S STOMACH!"

and then the little boy's eyes just widened and you could see the confusion on his face. I started to feel bad for the little boy because how hard would it be if your mom yelled at you even when she was happy? How confusing would that be? Oh, geez.

Anyway, so my doctor was . . . interesting. He actually had on one of those head mirror thingy's (see pic above) that normally only doctor's in like 1820 would wear. It looked like a costume. I didn't know if I should give him candy or ask for a prescription. Anyway, I get to have surgery. Woohoo.

***Sidenote - ok, so I had to find a pic of a doctor with a head mirror so you'd know what I was talking about and I found the one above. But .. . . .isn't that picture completely random? Why is Dopey going to the dr? And who amputated some lady's legs and then hung them on the wall? SO.MANY.QUESTIONS.

So I made a wedding cake

My cousin Aleina got married last Friday. I made the wedding cake. It was the first time I made a cake that was going to be seen by more than my immediate family so I was kinda freaking out. And I really didn't want to screw it up and let down Aleina so I kinda stressed out a lot. It was definitely a lesson in learning how to deal with change because the cake stand changed several times within 2 days of the wedding which changes the dimensions of the cake. I ended up having to bake the cake at the church the night before the wedding, then bringing it to my parents house around midnight to finish. I added fondant there and then finished the cupcakes. I finished around 2 am and then had to go to WalMart and pick up some stuff I needed for the next day. I got home close to 4 am and got about an hour's sleep. Then headed off to the temple to take pictures. Normally I look absolutely RAVISHING in pictures, but I'm thinking I kinda destroyed all the pictures I was in because my exhaustion was taking over. Good times. Oh well.

So this isn't a REAL post. It's a fake one.

So I was driving home from work and a commercial came on the radio. It was one of those commercials that is like a scripted conversation between a clueless doormat friend that will apparently buy anything and another friend that is strangely knowledgeable about whatever product they're selling. So of course the commercial was totally captivating - it was about Southwestern College - and the strangely knowledgeable friend kept asking the doormat friend stupid questions like,

"What would you say if I told you they are located on your way home from work?"

and then the doormat friend something very doormat-y like,

"Well, I would devote my life to you, and spend thousands of dollars at this overpriced college!"

and then the strangely knowledgeable friend said,

"What would you say if I told you that Southwestern is an intentionally Christian college?"

So I don't know what the doormat friend responded with because I got ADD and changed the station, but then I started thinking about that question. First of all, how completely RANDOM is that question? And, is there really colleges that are unintentionally Christian? And how do we know it was unintentional? Did someone call the President of the college and say, "Um, I don't know if you realized this, but your college is a Christian college." and the President replied, "Yeah . . . that was unintentional." Because that means people have too much time on their hands.

By the way - this week sucks. It's getting to the point I can't laugh anymore about how many things have gone wrong this week. When I watch the movie of my life in heaven and we get to this week I'm totally gonna be like - "No seriously, we need to fast forward this part. It's too painful to watch. Why don't we rewind to the part where I fell off a horse and was almost trampled? Or when I had surgery and they forgot to give me pain killers? That would be more pleasant."

So Japan just made my day

BEST. CONTEST. EVER.
So I happened upon this article. Don't ask me how. I'm not quite sure.

Basically a bunch of sumo wrestlers get together and hold babies and whoever's baby cries first wins. I'm not making this up. But now I have a reason to go to Japan.
Sidenote: Anyone wanna lend me your baby for a field trip? I'll take real good care of it and bring back lots of pictures. There is, however, a very *small* chance they will need extensive therapy later in life and be terrified of large men wearing diapers. But that's normal . . . right?

So I made something

My cousin Katy got me into crocheting awhile ago. I made a little baby boy blanket and when I was done I was so excited, but it was so small. I was sure the baby would outgrow it by the time they got home from the hospital. So I decided I would make the next one bigger. And it is ridiculous. I can't do anything normal.

So, yes, that sound you hear IS hell freezing over

I went and saw an ENT today. I've had so much anxiety about this appointment. Mostly because I have learned from my vast experience with health professionals that they don't always know best. In fact, it feels like half the time they are guessing. I guess I can't blame them, because apparently I am a freak of nature. I can't tell you how many times I've been told by doctors that whatever illness or condition I'm seeing them for they've NEVER seen before. And if they have seen it before, it was on small children, or on certain types of foliage. In fact, I don't think I've ever gotten a diagnosis until after the Dr has excused themselves from the room. They would normally make excuses like they had to pull my chart, or check the contraindications of whatever drug they were thinking of prescribing me, but I'm pretty sure they actually went to google my symptoms.

So, you know how my ears bleed? Well, the nurse at work guessed that it was a hemangioma. In. My. Ear. And you know who normally gets hemangiomas? Infants. Seriously. The nurse said she's never seen one on an adult and never in the ear. And the two nurses she brought in to stare horrified at my ear concurred. She said she thinks the ENT would use forceps to pull it off and then cauterize my ear. Aren't forceps what you use to deliver a baby with?? I didn't know they were multi-functional. And who's great idea is it to burn an open wound? Why does that sound like a good plan??

Well, the ENT said it is not a hemangioma. He said it was an abnormal skin growth (appetizing, eh?) and I have to have surgery. And I have to have surgery on both ears because of all the chronic problems I've always had. So I guess surgery is better than getting burned in an open wound, right?? Maybe?

So the bad news is (aside from the surgery and abnormal skin growth junk) is that I don't get to see the surgeon for two weeks. And this little ear thing keeps bleeding ALL. THE. TIME. which isn't fun ever, but it's really not fun at night because either the blood gets all over me and the sheets or it bleeds and drains into my ear. Which isn't pleasant. So I don't sleep much and am kinda in pain all the time.

Well, you know what they say, whatever doesn't kill you makes you wish it did.