So I'm still alive.

Hello there. Nice to see you. So I kinda forgot about this whole blog thing. It's funny how that happens. And to be honest, I don't really have anything really inspiring or earth shattering to share, but just thought I'd drop in.

Nothing's really changed. I'm still getting into weird situations, not sleeping, and having random health issues. Lately I've been changing what I eat, just to keep it interesting. Last week I decided to try all different brands of yogurt because I'm trying to find the best one. So every morning for breakfast I had a different kind. I was worried though that by the end of the week I would forget which brand I liked or didn't like. So I started writing my 'review' for the yogurt down on whatever was closest. So on random pieces of paper at work I have things written down like: 'Cascade Fresh: sour and lumpy', 'Stonyfield: liquidy and chunky', 'Chobani: possibly grabbed sour cream on accident?', 'Athenos: expired? or just really funky?'. And because I'm apparently really not organized, I wrote each one on something completely different. One was on a meeting agenda, one was a on a presentation, one on my calendar, etc. It makes for some fun reading and explanation for my co-workers that are wondering who I'm calling liquidy and chunky. Doesn't that description just make you hungry? Yum.

So it's been awhile

I have been busy and have kinda stayed away from the whole blogging idea for the last couple weeks. I've been trying to think of anything noteworthy to update with and this is all I've got:

- Remember how I got a flat tire while my nephew was in the car? Well he has yet to quit reminding me that my car is busted and that "Chelsie, you really shouldn't busted your car." Well, then a couple of weeks ago he was over at my apartment when my sister and I were bringing in groceries. My sister accidentally dropped a thing of sodas on the ground where 2 promptly self destructed. I brought the rest into the apartment and set it on the counter. As soon as I did, several cans dropped to the kitchen floor and burst open. The soda sprayed EVERYWHERE . . . the walls, the microwave, the ceiling, etc. I was kinda staring in disbelief when Ridge, who was watching from a couple feet away looked amazed. He then said, "What happened Chelsie? Your house 'splode (explode)?" So now he tells me that my car is busted and my house 'splode. Just Grand.
- I saw a trainer/fitness chick/hater-of-all-that-is-pain-free a couple of days ago. She apparently though I was in training to become a line backer, because she had me doing up-downs and all kinds of crazy exercises. By the end of it I couldn't feel my legs, and now I wish I couldn't feel my legs. It hurts so bad that I can barely get out of a chair, let alone walk. I've procrastinated anything that requires movement including going to the bathroom and sneezing. I'm now walking so funny that I've contemplated finding a wheel chair for the next couple or months, or whenever my muscles recover - whichever comes first. Which is ironic because I'm supposed to be working out so I could walk more, not less. I've learned my lesson: Exercise is bad for my health.

Yeah, that's pretty much it. Pretty boring.

So I cannot say goodbye

I'm in a predicament. So, to try and explain you have to understand that I am about the opposite of a hoarder with most things. I do not like holding on to a bunch of stuff, and have, on several occasions, thrown perfectly good items away. I'm talking clothes, movies, cds, childhood items, etc. I know it can be seen as wasteful - but I just hate having so much CLUTTER everywhere. If I don't use it - it's gone.

With that said, I randomly get extremely attached to certain things. I'm sure you're thinking that this is totally normal. However, let me demonstrate how I'm once again NOT normal.

The year is 1995 and I am in fifth grade. The world became fascinated with the scrunchie. All the girls in my grade literally couldn't go a day without accessorizing with a scrunchie on the wrist. And it was never just one scrunchie . . . it was always several (apparently in case some fatal accident occurs that requires the assistance of multiple scrunchies to . . . hold someones hair back.) So being the cool, classy chick that I am (don't all laugh at once) I followed suit and wore more scrunichies on my arm than anyones hair called for.I came in from recess one day and realized that in the process of walking around the fields (because playing on the swings was SO beneath me) I had lost a scrunchie. I immediately became so devastated that I rushed to my teacher and tearfully explained that I lost my scrunchie at lunch and absolutely HAD to go outside to find it. She pointedly looked at the remaining perfectly good scrunchies wrapped around my wrist and told me that I couldn't, but that she was sure it would show up in Lost and Found the next day. It didn't. I was so traumatized over this, that YES, I obviously still remember it. Being that attached to a hair accessory isn't healthy.

Well, it's happening again. You might remember that my computer is dying. It's been dying for awhile now and I'm having a hard time accepting it. And there's no doubt that it's over for this computer. It's literally being held together with masking tape in some places (aren't you surprised that I didn't use hot glue?) (not that I didn't think about it. But the masking tape was closer. I think that's how all life decisions should be made . . . which way is faster?). This computer has played it's last song, it has surfed it's last web, it has . . . well, you get the idea. And I was recently able to buy a new computer. The new computer is amazing - it has everything that the old computer doesn't have (um, it's functioning) and more. And yet I do not want to get rid of the old computer. Certain siblings have even offered to take it off my hands to squeeze the last bit of power out of it. It's probably selfish of me, but I can't let it go. I have had this computer for 4 years and I've used it pretty much every single day. I'm pretty sure this computer is going to be sitting on my desk until I'm 72. Like I said, I'm in a predicament.

So have you ever gone into a room and forgot what you needed? Yeah, I did that. But instead of a room, I went to WalMart.

This last week I was supposed to have 4 days off of work. Instead, I decided to do overtime. Not because I missed the wonderful world of work, but because everything I own apparently had a secret pact to all break at the same time. My TV died (we've been over that), my computer is on it's last leg, my cell phone is randomly freezing and turning itself off, and my dresser literally rocks back and forth when touched. It's gotten so bad that I've decided that any clothes in the dresser are off limits - it's not worth risking it's collapse. So I worked 11 hours on Thursday and was exhausted when I got home. However, I had to rearrange my bedroom because my parents were getting me a new Queen sized bed on Saturday. Currently I have a twin sized bed (I KNOW!!) so, I have to move furniture around to make it all fit. And I decided to completely organize EVERYTHING in my room in the process. Because I apparently thought that I needed to reach new levels of exhaustion. After I completely finished I was getting ready for bed because I had to be at work the next day at 5 am. I was so ready for bed and then I realized that in the process of moving and organizing, I had completely lost my alarm clock. And the only back up alarm I have is my phone. You know, the phone that randomly freezes and dies. Super reliable. So I decided to tear everything apart looking for for the clock. Hours later, I gave up the search because it was close to 2am, and I had to be up at 4:30. But I still couldn't sleep because I was so sure I wouldn't be able to wake up. Even when I did kind of drift off, I would wake up in a panic, sure that I overslept. So Friday I was kind of in a fog of exhaustion. It wasn't pretty. But I was determined to get everything done. I finished work and remembered that the day before I had made a long list of things I needed at WalMart. I remembered that there were several things that I really needed for the weekend. So I got to WalMart, and had gotten into the store before I realized I couldn't remember even one thing I actually needed. I was walking around thinking that blankly staring down every aisle would help me remember something, anything. No luck. And in my sleep deprived state I was really upset thinking that I would leave empty handed. So I decided to grab the closest item and buy that so my trip wouldn't be in vain.

Which is why I left WalMart with a peach candle.

So this post is kinda a bummer . . . .

I haven't written in awhile because all I have to say are complaints and angry sarcastic rants. Nothing big has gone wrong, but lots of little super annoying things keep happening. Any one of them I could handle and laugh at. And some days I do just that - but then something else happens and I want to break something. Ok, so I'll try to put this in chronological order:
1. This is long - you may want to skip. . . . I decided to remake my wall thingy because I kinda hated it. It was super ugly and annoying. So, I thought I'd learned from the past and would use wood this time and it would be super easy. Yeah, right. I got the wood and paper for the project and would use mod podge to seal it together. So the mod podge thing wasn't getting the paper to stick to the wood, so naturally I decided to mix glue with the mod podge. Because my improvisations with crafts make me a winner. Nope, that just made the paper all lumpy and gross. My sister took the job over and showed me how to correctly mod podge, and when we needed something flat to smooth the paper out over the mod podge, I grabbed my driver's license. Naturally. So my driver's license is mod podged. Because I screwed up so many of the boards, we had to go and buy more scrapbook paper and redo them. Then they had to lay out in my tiny apartment on the couch, table, and basically every surface. The next day I realized that although I had bought wall hanging kits, I had only bought 6, because apparently I suck at math and didn't count the 9 boards that I actually had. I thought it was safe to stack the boards because they were spread out everywhere until I could get more hanging kits. That melded the boards together and ruined 2 of them. That I had to redo. Again. It eventually turned out ok - but I am so bitter over the effort it took. Grrr.
2. My TV broke right after I got DVR. I was able to get a smaller, but still functioning tv from my sister though, so I figured it'll work until I save to buy a new one.
3. My DVD player stopped working. We were able to figure out (after awhile) that it was just a bad cord. That could be replaced - so it wasn't a total loss.
4. I filled a prescription and then lost it within 24 hours. The entire thing. I tore apart my apartment and car looking for it to no avail. I then had to fight with the pharmacy to get it refilled. At the same time I got an ear infection and had the fun experience of dealing with the nurses at work that could not be more condescending and rude. They finally gave me prescriptions for my ear and the prescription costs ended up costing more money then I had a available, because my insurance is ridiculously horrible.
5. My DVR broke. The geniuses at Cox couldn't figure out what the problem was and sent a guy out to replace it. I told them I don't get off work until 5, so they would have to come after that. They said that was no problem and I promptly got a call at 4:15 from the Cox guy that he was outside my apartment. When I finally got there (after 5), he was not happy. He replaced the box, saying that would fix it. I lost all my saved shows, and had to reprogram all my recordings. Which is kinda time consuming, and annoying.
6. Not even 5 days after getting a new box, my DVR broke again. With the same problem. That happened last Saturday. This was also the day that my towel rack decided to fall off the wall and my refrigerator door handle broke off. Then, I also got infested with bugs. They're these little flying things that I found out (after much trial and error) can be killed with windex. So my entire place (including my face) ended up coated in windex while I tried to kill these suckers. There were a ton - I counted over 50 that I killed alone. I found that they were coming out of the drains, so I plugged all the drains which meant I couldn't wash dishes and freaked anytime I had to take a shower. I went to WalMart hoping to find something that kills unidentified bugs and all I could find were these fly papers. When I got home and took it out of the box it looked like a roll of film. I pulled on the ribbon attached to this roll of film and out came a 3 ft long roll of the most disgusting sticky stuff ever. That I got stuck to my face. Don't ask me how. The guy came out Monday to replace the cable box AGAIN. And he was completely rude. He just walked back into room and back to my closet. Without asking. And I really didn't think cable guys NEEDED to go into my bedroom (they never had before) so it was messy. So embarrassing. And what he needed wasn't even in the closet, and I could have told him that, but he didn't ask. So I lost all my shows again, and had to setup all my recordings, AGAIN.
7. Then, yesterday after work I tried to see if the tv was working. And it wasn't. It was freezing every couple minutes so that you can only catch pieces of conversations. I called Cox, spending close to an hour on the phone, and the guy said he needed to reset my box. I asked if this would erase all my shows and make me re-setup all my recordings. He assured me that it wouldn't, and then got off the phone. When my box restarted, it not only erased everything again, but it didn't fix the problem, so I had to call back AGAIN. And they have no solution except replacing it. Again. It's like a really bad version of Groundhog's Day with this stinking company.
8. Work. I've been careful not to discuss work online because it's dangerous, but I will just say that holy cow, it is adding to the list. In a big way.

This isn't even everything, but it's all happened in the last 3ish weeks. And I'm ready for things to be boring. Honestly.

*END OF ANGRY BITTER RANT*

So I had a dream . . . . and my subconscious is weird.

My dreams are not normal. This shouldn't be surprising, really. They have plot lines, music, a motif, etc. They tend to be incredibly amusing. Last night I had a dream that I was auditioning for the play 'Man of La Mancha'. I'm a horrible actress - this is something my high school Theatre teacher will passionately agree with me on, so I'm a little confused as to why I would be trying out. Anyway, before try outs started, the Playwrite was making 'improvements' to the play. He wanted it to be different. So he added a character to the play. The character was a hamster that would roll on (not in) a ball throughout the scenes. But the Playwrite was having trouble coming up with the perfect name for the character. In desperation, he turned to all of the waiting auditionees to help. He said that whoever came up with the best idea for the character will get to play the character. This was, of course, the only possible way I would get cast. Everyone yelled out ideas, "Fluffy!" "Speedy!" "Fred!". And then it became my turn. And my idea, was . . . "Sir Mix-a-lot!" Naturally. So, I got the part. Because that was obviously the best name. I was the hamster that ran on a ball during the play while 'Baby Got Back' played in the background. SCORE!

So if I wear something cute it means I'm risking losing my job. Lesson learned.

This morning I woke up later than usual and threw on one of the few tops I have that I actually like. I tend to have tops of the circus tent variety, but this one is actually almost cute. I rushed out of my apartment having exactly 2 minutes to get to work before I'm considered late. And I hate being late so I'm hustling to my car. As I'm power walking (because running would just cause an injury - let's be honest) I noticed a woman in the parking lot. She was in her pajamas, staggering a litte, and could barely hold on to the cigarette she held in her hand. She was coming right at me, with purpose. So I did the only sensible thing - I decided that she was coming to attack me and that this parking lot would be the place where I would take my last breath. Ok, so I may have overreacted. She abruptly came to a stop a couple feet in front of me, tilted her head, squinted, and then said,

"Oh. You're not who I thought you were."

I breathed a sigh of relief, smiled, and continued my race to the car when she stopped me with,

"I really like your top. Where did you get it?"

Trying to end the conversation as fast as possible I said,

"Hey, thanks. Yeah, I don't remember where I got it-"

and then she interrupted,

" Well was it Kohls? Old Navy? Dilliards? How about Sears? I get my coats there . . . was it Sears? How about Target? Burlington? . . . "

I kept trying to explain that I didn't remember and casually bolt to the car but she just wouldn't let it go.

" . . . Savers? Garage Sale? Hey, why do you park over here? Don't you live way in the corner? Right? Don't you? You can have my spot . . . I lost my car to my stupid ex-boyfriend so I'm not using it. You wanna use it? . . . ."

This went on and on and all I could concentrate on was counting just how many minutes I was going to be late to work. I finally got to work . . . . 7 minutes late. All because of a cute top.

I got back tonite after having dinner with a friend and was pretty excited to utilize my new DVR to watch all my recorded shows. I had a pretty horrendous day at work and this would help me end the day on a positive note. I settled into the couch and attempted to turn the tv on. It responded with a clicking noise - but it wouldn't turn on. There is nothing like a broken tv that will make you re-examine your purpose in life. I said a final farewell to my tv and started looking thru Craig's list looking for a cheap replacement. Because life is not complete without mind sucking tv episodes. Well, I didn't really have much luck. I don't know if it's me, but the goods on craig's list have gone considerably downhill. For example, I came across this gem:

For those that don't have the ability to zoom in, the post is from someone trying to sell a tv - their description says: (my favorite parts in bold)

" This led flat screen television is a magnavox but does not work. It turns on but nothing comes out on the screen. Everything looks great on the outside - - the screen is not broken, no scratches, and it includes remotes but one remote isn't in great shape. I don't know what's wrong with the tv since I just purchase another tv instead of trying to fix this one . . . "

And they're only asking $75 for a broken tv. Sounds like a STEAL. Sign me up for that.

So my body and I are in a fight. And I'm losing. Again.

Remember the whole sleeping thing? Yeah. That was actually going ok. And then my work schedule changed and my body revolted. I had finally trained my body on when to go to sleep and when to wake up - I had an early schedule at work meaning I had to wake up at 6 am for 2 months, which is basically the entire time I've been off sleeping pills. Then my schedule changed so that I didn't have to wake up until 8:30 am. I was super excited about all the sleep I would get. If only I knew.
The first morning of the new schedule, I woke up panicked at 6 am. My body was shouting, "It's time to wake up!!"Once I saw the clock, I had to kindly tell myself to go back to bed. Then my body would freak right out and wake up 15 minutes later screaming, "WAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUP!", just like a three year old would - you know, turn on the lights, jump on the bed, and start screaming in your face. The only appropriate response is a stern lecture and a warning, so I did just that and my body reluctantly settled down. Only to repeat that pattern every 15 minutes until 8:30. I'd trained myself into this Pavlovian response that my body was not appreciating being broken of. It started getting a little better after a week and then . . . of course, my schedule changed again. The first day of the change was yesterday, and I had the HARDEST time trying to get any coorperation. And I'm pretty sure I ticked my body off (I know it's weird that I talk about it like we are 2 different people, but that's how it feels sometimes. And now I'm pretty sure everyone is diagnosing me with multiple personalities. Terrific.) and so last night it refused to go to sleep. You know, in protest. I pretended not to notice, so that I didn't feed into it. Just like you would if a two year old was throwing a temper tantrum. That did nothing. But thankfully I got DVR over the weekend (which I am IN LOVE WITH) so I was able to distract myself from the fact that it was 4:30 in the morning and my body was sulking in the corner refusing to sleep just to prove a point. So I got 2 hours of sleep last night. Fun stuff. But the DVR . . . I don't know how I lived without it. It's like Christmas every time I turn on my tv and there's new shows to watch. And shows that I like. I can't tell you how many times I've watched the same infomercial in the middle of the night because I couldn't sleep and nothing else was on. Which can be expensive, because HOLY COW they are inventing some cool stuff lately. Like this glue that can hold anything including a hammock holding two small children (which shouldn't be tried at home) at only $18.99 plus shipping. What they don't tell you is the shipping costs more than the product. Yeah, it's defintely cheaper to have a DVR.

So my car hates me and your future babies will look like a fascist dictator. True Story.

Oh my goodness. Nothing is ever boring with me it seems. So my sister Jarica and I went to Thatcher to go see my sister Chantel's new house. Knowing that my car thinks it's super fun to break down at the most inopportune times, I thought I'd be super prepared and get my car checked before the trip. So the day before we left I took my car in to get the oil changed and have them look at all the fluids and stuff. And apparently everything was great. So the trip up was fine except I always get a little bitter towards my car on road trips because my car is a PT CRUISER without CRUISE control. Talk about false advertising.

We got there with no problems and then I decided to leave to pick up pizza for dinner with my little nephew, Ridge. We weren't even a mile away from the house when I blew a tire. This is, by the way, the 4th tire I've had to replace in 6 months. There was a super loud noise and the car started thumping down the road. I was able to pull over and I was actually really calm about the whole thing. I was always kind of expecting it anyways. So Ridge of course had to see what was wrong, so he came out and inspected the car, then looked really serious and said, "Your car is BUSTED." Then he waited a couple moments and then stated, "You just have to get a new car." Shrugging his shoulders as if he felt really bad he had to break the news to me. As I was inspecting the tire, Ridge suddenly got really concerned about the pizza that we were failing to pickup. He decided we should just leave the car and walk to get the pizza. I mean, someone has to have priorities so I'm glad he was around to remind me that even though we were stranded with an overpriced hunk of junk, the important thing is that we left the pizza all alone. And its feelings might be hurt. So I called Chani to pick us up and we got the pizza before anything catastrophic happened. My brother in law Curtis later put the donut on and the next morning Jarica and I ventured to Walmart to empty my bank account. I went to the mechanic area and the mechanics all saw me and literally refused to help. Wouldn't even direct me to where I needed to go. For literally over 20 minutes they went about their work, refusing to help. It was so incredibly obnoxious. When I FINALLY got someone to help, they said they have the tire, it would be $70, and I would need to wait an hour. After waiting almost the entire hour they called me up and said, just kidding. They didn't actually have the $70 tire. They only had the $110 one. And they didn't figure that out until just then. So I left. I was so sick of the incompetence I wanted to scream. So instead I went to Big O. They helped right away, and even though the tire cost more, I was ok with it because they weren't so rude.

Anyway, on to good news. I found the Redbox movie yesterday. (I know you were all dying to know.) It was in my craft box. Naturally.

And my laptop seems to be getting better. The double clicking thing has actually stopped. It's like it's slowly healing itself. At this rate, it will be back to normal in about 2 years, 9 months.

Lastly, I found this ad while I was on some random site. And it just cracks me up. I know there was a way to mesh you and another person's face together to see what kind of kid you'd have, but all examples I've seen are like incredibly unattractive morphed versions of yourself. So I love that this company used this example as some kind of marketing campaign. It seems to be trying to scare people into not have children, because MAN, that baby looks like a baby Hitler with a uni brow. And the "Go Ahead. Make a Baby!" seems like a dare. It's kind of awesome. And a little scary.

So Redbox and I broke up.

Awhile back, I rented the Social Network from Redbox. And then I promptly lost it. I didn't even have it in my possession long enough to watch it. Every single day I would randomly search for it - in the most random of places because that's where all my lost items tend to be found. After searching under the sink, in the dryer, and on the porch, I kind of gave up. I figured Redbox would just figure it out and charge me for the dvd and we would resume our normal renting and watching movies pattern. Which they did - they charged me $25. Then Redbox decided they don't want to be friends anymore. Even though our friendship is based on me giving a ridiculous amount of money for a nonexistent dvd. They won't let me rent from them now. It's all very tragic.

Speaking of terrible news, my laptop is dying a slow torturous death. I started to see the signs a couple of weeks ago. I guess I should have known it was coming - I've had this laptop for 4 years now. Which in technology age it's like Joan Rivers. It has started randomly restarting, suddenly exiting windows, running frustratingly slow. So I started looking at new laptops and saving a little. Then I got sick and . . . . well - this is kinda of gross, so I'll give you fair warning. So, I accidentally threw up on my laptop. I really wish that was a punchline, but no - I legitimately threw up on my laptop. So whatever wasn't broken before, definitely is now. So it has developed even more interesting quirks. The cursor thing double clicks on stuff without being touched - which means all the annoying ads get clicked on and when I try to close them, I end up double clicking on it which opens more windows. Random keys stopped working and others you have to push for awhile to get it to register. So every time I have to get online it's like a freaking adventure. I never know what's going to happen next.

So I think I've figured this whole sleep thing out. And by 'figured out' I mean 'accepted the fact that I am not normal'.

So remember how I don't sleep? And how I've quit taking ridiculous amounts of sleeping aids because I didn't want to force my liver into early retirement? So it hasn't been easy but I think I've figured out of formula of what I have to do in order to sleep at night. If I skip one step, I get little to no sleep. I figured maybe some of these techniques will help others that can't sleep, so here it goes:

- Wake up ridiculously early. Like 6am early.
- Work for 11 hours. Race around the building all day long getting to meetings and listening to callers yell at you.
- Don't drink any kind of soda after 2 pm. Even if it doesn't have caffeine. In fact, just don't drink anything after 2pm.
- Get home and tackle some kind of project. Clean the entire house, re-organize your closet, alphabetize all your dvds, etc.
- Write a To-Do List for the next day so you can stop stressing about forgetting something.
- Around 8pm start a 'bedtime routine'. This is very similar to what you would do with a toddler to get them in the routine. Take a shower at the same time every night, brush your teeth, and if you really feel like reminiscing, put on some baby lotion.
- Turn off all lights, and force yourself to lay in bed (no books! no movies!).
- Don't let yourself out of the bed no matter how much you may cry. You'll just get distracted and end up watching an entire season of Lost.
- Remind yourself to not freak out that it is 2 am and you still haven't slept - this just getting your brain freaked out which is not conducive to sleep.

If these are all not followed, I get very little sleep. But, hey! I get some sleep and that's what counts. I think.

So, etc.

It all started about 2 weeks ago. I decided to use my heater for the first time ever. As soon as I turned it on, there was a horrible smell and the smoke alarm went off. And even though I turned off the heater right away, the smoke alarm kept going for a couple minutes. I ended up trying to get warm using my blow dryer, just like our ancestors did.

Then on Monday night the 17th(?) I got sick. REALLY sick. It hit hard. And this stunk because it was also the night before I had to house sit for my parents. House sitting isn't a big deal - except that I was planning on getting my heater fixed while I was gone. Which meant I had to remove all valuables from the apartment. This sounds like an over reaction - but let me explain. So, the maintenance guy at my apartment is a little . .. .special. I'm really not sure how he got his job. When I first moved in there was a huge hole in my shower and no faucet. I asked them to fix it and the maintenance guy came over - empty handed. He actually asked me for a dime so he could screw in the faucet and then tried to leave the hole - even after I explained how having a hole can become a problem when I'm taking a shower. So - he's not the lightest bulb. So, I've thinking if he tries to fix my heater, my apartment is totally gonna catch on fire. And if that happens, I don't want all my important things to be destroyed. So I had to pack my most important things, and find a place for all the things that wouldn't fit. So . .. it was a long night. I ended up going to my parents house at 2:30 AM for a breathing treatment because I couldn't breathe. Fun stuff. Then I went to work without sleeping and then went to see the nurse. She said I have bronchitis and my oxygen count was really low because I've always had a lower lung capacity than most. So I had to go get drugs (YAY for drugs) and go home. Within 4 hours I felt worse. Much worse. So I ended up waiting 5 hours to get into Urgent Care. Who said I have the flu also. I was running fevers constantly and started suffering the fun effects of the stomach flu. It was horrible. I kept having asthma attacks and then started panicking because I couldn't breathe which made it worse. I was out of work the whole week. When I went back on Monday I was thinking I might be getting better and went to the nurse to get refills on my prescriptions. When I went there they said they were alarmed that I was getting worse, and that I had developed double ear infections. So I had to leave and get more prescriptions. The next day I felt like I really needed to try and make it through a day at work. So I went in feeling ok. Within 2 hours I suddenly had a huge asthma attack and coughing up blood (YUMMY!). I ran out to a rarely used hallway because I didn't want to make a scene. I couldn't catch my breath and was sure I was going to pass out in this hallway and die. Because I'm a little dramatic but also because I really couldn't breathe. I made it to the nurse ad when they saw that I was coughing up blood they weren't too excited. Apparently that isn't good. So they sent me home again. I then had to stay home the next day as well. When all was said and done, I spent close to $400 on doctor's visits, prescriptions, and over the counter medicines. Frankly, I'm surprised I'm still employed. So this is the VERY long excuse for why I haven't blogged in awhile. The End.

So I'll probably forget this by tomorrow . . .

So work has been interesting lately. (If you ever miss a post, odds are it's about work, my sleep, or near death experiences. Sometimes all in the same post. Like magic!)

Anyway, so I'm helping train our new hires at work for the next 9 weeks. The manager had a long meeting with me today about expectations of their coaches (which is pretty much old news to me because I've been coaching for the past 2 years). So, we're going through different coaching techniques and several times he asked for an example of a certain situation (ex: "When have you had to deliver a difficult message to a co-worker?). Well, as luck would have it, I pretty much have experienced the very worst possible scenarios in my time working. Things that literally had him writing things down to remember because they were so bad. Because of this, we moved along pretty quickly because he could see I'm pretty seasoned. So we kept breezing through the material and he would start a topic and I would make a comment to show that I understand so we could move past it. I should mention that I'm still not taking any more sleep aids. Which also means I'm not sleeping. I've seriously had less than 4 hours of sleep in the past 2 days. Which tends to not end well. So I felt like the meeting was going pretty well -considering - until . . .

So the manager started going over how it's important to not just give someone the answer but to help them find the answer. To respond explaining that I understood I meant to use the old cliche "If you teach a man to fish, etc" but what ACTUALLY came out was: "Yeah, I had to teach a dog to fish."

There was a moment where I didn't even hear what I had actually said - and then I saw his eyes widen and he said, "Wow. You really have had some extreme experiences."

Maybe drug free is NOT the way to be.

So, Another Sleep Misadventure

So last Saturday (the 1st) I decided to stop taking Benedryl and Tylenol PM every night. Health professionals everywhere just breathed a sigh of relief. This has nothing to do with a New Year's resolution, I just got tired of all super fun side effects taking massive amounts of drugs to get myself to sleep has caused me in the last 4+ years. You know, the foggy daze I was in, slurred speech, the Costco size Benedryl bottle that has been my constant sidekick, and the hate mail I receive daily from my liver. So on Saturday night I was awake until 5 am. That's when my resolve started to shake and I decided to look up symptoms of Benedryl overdose. Just to freak myself out so I don't decide to crack under the insomnia-induced pressure. And you wouldn't even believe what an overdose with Benedryl causes . . . .insomnia. (I KNOW!) It also causes a lot of other fun things I've experienced like headaches, blurred vision, fevers, etc.

So I made it through and didn't take anything. And I still haven't. (Applause). It has been really interesting as I notice changes . . . . for example, over the past several years I've gotten used to this constant mental fuzziness and it's been slowly going away. It's quite unsettling actually. It's almost like sitting in a room with a TV set to static. After a few seconds of listening to that loud buzzing you're like, 'Wow, that's super annoying and quite distracting.' But you get used to it. You learn to work around it and after awhile it becomes a new normal. It's been your background noise for so long that it's almost comforting. And then someone turns off the tv and it feels eerily quiet. So that's been me the last few days - walking around asking who turned off the tv. I'm sleeping about every other night which is pretty good considering. So, yeah.

Oh! And I almost forgot. I made something. It's a jewelry holder. I've been wanting one for awhile because my jewelry ends up in a tangled mess. But the ones I want are like $50 + shipping. So I decided to make my own. I saw an example online and it took a frame, attached some hooks, and then put some plastic mesh stuff in the middle so you can attach your earrings. I wasn't a huge fan of the plastic mesh anyway, but I couldn't find them anywhere. So I tried to think of something that would work. Then I saw cheese cloth, and it looks like something earrings would snag to. And, good news, cheese cloth can be used for other purposes than just keeping cheese modest. So I got a frame and painted it, screwed some hooks into it, and attached some cheese cloth with my trusty companion, hot glue. Then I attached some fabric behind the cheese cloth. I then made some flowers for the corner. It actually turned out really well - it kind of threw me off actually. I keep expecting it to self-destruct or something. But so far it's doing just fine, functioning and everything. Who woulda thunk?