Friday, March 5, 2010

So have you ever procrastinated running away from an axe murderer because you were too tired??? Yeah, me too.

Life has been busy. Well, more like work has been busy. I'm taking on a lot of roles, and have a lot of projects. So I've been working overtime and last week I worked 7 days a week. Yes, I worked on Sunday because I'm a sinner. But I really needed to get a project ready for Monday morning. Well, I left Sunday knowing things weren't ready so I'd have to come in early on Monday because the project needed to be ready before people started coming in at 6 AM. Early as in 5 AM early. As in please-kill-me-now early. And I don't sleep well, like, ever. So 2:30 AM rolled around and I gave up trying to sleep. It seemed kinda pointless at that point. By the way - life is super boring at 2:30 AM. No one is awake to talk to and anything I would normally do when I get free time doesn't work at 2:30. Like shop, or go to the bank. People should keep their establishments open just in case an insomniac decides they need to wash their car at 2:30 AM. It would be real helpful.
Anyway, I got to work at 4:30 AM and encountered a gate to the parking lot I didn't know existed preventing access to my work. Apparently American Express is paranoid that some freak would possibly come into work too early. But I outsmarted them, like the creepy overzealous employee I am. I found another entrance in. When I walked into the front lobby of work the security guard eyed me with a combination of fear, curiousity, and confusion. I spent the whole day running around and trying not to fall over. By the end of the day I was having trouble putting complete sentences together and found people's faces amusing. I've come to recognize this is my body's way of telling me that it is about to self destruct if I don't go to sleep, like, NOW. So I went home and layed in bed trying to sleep. Not long after I heard a sound like glass breaking and then a thud. I froze - listening.There was then a loud crashing noises, as if people were moving furniture and then kicking it. I decided the only logical conclusion for these noises was that an axe murderer was breaking into my house and about to kill me. I took a moment to contemplate if I should run and hide. My mind said I should run - in fact my mind was screaming it - but my body disagreed. I believe my body's exact words were, "Yeah. Good luck with that."
So my body won. I fell asleep shortly after that. And obviously I didn't die, because you are reading this. I never did find out what the noise came from though. It could have been the neighbors. It could have been people in the parking lot. It could have been my sister coming home and watching a show. OR, the most believable option is that it really was an axe murderer and he/she (I'm not sexist, it could have been a girl. I'm all about female empowerment) got to my bedroom, saw me laying on the bed and decided this was the worst game of hide and seek they've ever played. They are probably used to being able to chase their victim, or at least find them under the bed. It's no fun when your victim is in plain sight and apparently doesn't give a crap if you start killing them. So they probably moved on to my neighbor. Yeah, that's definitely that most believable option.

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