Tuesday, March 16, 2010

So I fell. At work. Go me.

Anyone that knows me even a little bit (this should be you, otherwise why are you reading this?? I'm not that interesting . . . ) knows that I'm not the most graceful person. I wasn't nominated for "Most Likely to Become a Ballerina or Something Else Requiring Coordination" in High School. (To be completely honest, I don't know if that was even an award, but, well, it should be.)

I fall a lot. A LOT. I've had 3 concussions in my life. That is more than most pro wrestlers. 1 of those concussions was from walking. WALKING. There wasn't anything in my path, my shoes weren't untied, there wasn't even a stinking BANANA PEEL. I was a sophomore in high school. I had just gotten lunch (along with half the school) and was walking on the concrete, downhill, in the middle of literally HUNDREDS of my peers, and went down. And being the wise little sophomore that I was, I decided to protect my lunch instead of head. My head hit first. It took the entire impact. Then what seemed like the entire school proceeded to swarm up to me, all the while assuring me that NO ONE saw so I shouldn't be embarrassed. I couldn't tell you who was talking to me though, because so much blood was running down my face and I could barely make out the floor I was lying on. I don't remember too much of what happened next. I was told that I attempted to stand up and kept passing out (I would so love video of that scene. Hundreds of high schoolers circling some girl that keeps standing up and collapsing. "Oops she did it again" could have been the background music. I crack myself up) . I do remember making it into one of the bathrooms and the next thing I remember I was UNDER the sink. So I probably passed out again because I am an over achiever and apparently think that if you're gonna pass out once, you might as well do it a hundred times in the most disgusting place possible. Someone went and got the security guard (why the security guard? Really? How did that decision making process go? "Hmmm . . . someone is hurt. We need someone with a gun. . . .the SECURITY GUARD!") The security guard came into the bathroom and just stared at me while I was under the sink pretending like I do this all the time. I left the bathroom with the security guard ( I don't remember if it was a guy or a girl. I was a little paying attention to staying conscious idea) and as we were leaving two girls were about to enter the bathroom. They looked at me and their eyes widened as they took in my bloodied state. The look they gave each other was priceless. If I would have been functioning like I normally am, I probably would've spouted off a stupid comment like, "Yeah, the toilet started talking back. I had to show him who's boss."
Instead I climbed into the security guards golf cart and was taken to the nurses office. And of course the security guard thought it would be a good plan to take a tour of the school on the way to the nurses office. I'm pretty sure I passed every single student on the way. I won't go into the whole nurse/emergency room/trauma because that part wasn't very entertaining but what I will say is that I was definitely forced to go to school the next day. Good times. And I had to participate in a Oral Mid Term for my Spanish class that day. I tried explaining to the teacher that the Dr said that memory loss was common with concussions but she showed no mercy. Good times.

So, that wasn't even the story I was supposed to tell . . . . anyways. So - I fell at work. That's all of the story you're gonna get though because now I'm tired of reliving my falls.

Speaking of tired, this morning I was SO incredibly tired I literally (and I mean literally) forgot the lyrics to "Happy Birthday". I was supposed to call and sing my Uncle Billy Happy Birthday (he has Downs Syndrome so birthdays are still a big deal for him.) I was going to do it on my drive to work this morning but I got very little sleep last night and realized just how out of it I was when I sat there trying to remember the words to Happy Birthday. I started humming it to myself hoping it will come back to me. It finally did - but I kept thinking I forgot the second verse or something, but no - the song is really that short. And because I had to dwell on the lyrics for such a long time, I now realize that "Happy Birthday" is a super repetetive song. And kinda lame. And short. I mean, we only get it sung to us once a year, so you would think it would be an exciting song. Something to look forward to. I bet the first person to ever get this song sung to them on their birthday was all excited and then after the song they were like: "Really? That's the best you got? On my BIRTHDAY? Wow, I'm sure that took you at least . . . 15 seconds to come up with. Thanks. I feel real special now."

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