So I started a fire

Working at home is great. But it is really boring. And I think I have undiagnosed ADD. Which has caused some problems. One 'problem' is that I don't stop cleaning. And because I don't do anything normal, I was cleaning my ceilings with bleach using a Swiffer. (Don't ask). The problem with cleaning your ceilings is that it drips, and I didn't think about this while I looked up and literally got a drop of bleach water in my eye. Who needs vision anyway, eh?
But really I get in the most trouble at my desk. I have this candle burning at all times because one of my neighbors apparently really likes pot. And I'm not a fan of the smell. So I have this candle going and I get really fascinated with it sometimes. I get annoyed that the wax on the side wasn't melting and it seems like such a waste. So I decided to take a giant paper clip (of course I have one) and scrape the wax on the side into the melted wax in the middle. Not only did I burn my hand several times (because the candle was still burning) but my hand slipped why scraping and it splashed all the hot wax all over my face and shirt. It was like a spontaneous wax facial. That was fun.
Then, for the finale, I started a fire. It started because I have a small obsession with burning paper and blowing it out. I think this is a sign of mental illness, but fire is pretty. So that means it's ok. Right? . . . So I started burning a piece of paper - except I couldn't blow it out in time and I panicked and dropped it in the garbage next to my desk. The garbage that was full of paper. The garbage can lit up like it was full of gasoline. My first reaction was annoyance at how quickly it burst into flames because whenever I'm camping, I can NEVER get the campfire to start. But of course now, when I don't want to start a fire, I have super fire starting abilities. Apparently.
Anyway, so I have a rather large fire going in my trash can and I was kinda freaking out. So I go to the sink and try to fit my trash can under the faucet but my trash can was too big and I didn't have enough room. So I dumped all the burning trash into the sink thinking this was a genius move. And then I watched as the small stream of water from the faucet didn't even touch 90% of the burning mess. So I started cupping my hands and filling it with water and splashing the fire. And yes, I effectively splashed the fire to death. I think I should really look into fire fighting. I apparently have some great skills. I'm sure the local fire fighters would be really impressed. Either that, or really concerned about my ability to start fires. Maybe I should just keep this story to myself.