So I started a fire

Working at home is great. But it is really boring. And I think I have undiagnosed ADD. Which has caused some problems. One 'problem' is that I don't stop cleaning. And because I don't do anything normal, I was cleaning my ceilings with bleach using a Swiffer. (Don't ask). The problem with cleaning your ceilings is that it drips, and I didn't think about this while I looked up and literally got a drop of bleach water in my eye. Who needs vision anyway, eh?
But really I get in the most trouble at my desk. I have this candle burning at all times because one of my neighbors apparently really likes pot. And I'm not a fan of the smell. So I have this candle going and I get really fascinated with it sometimes. I get annoyed that the wax on the side wasn't melting and it seems like such a waste. So I decided to take a giant paper clip (of course I have one) and scrape the wax on the side into the melted wax in the middle. Not only did I burn my hand several times (because the candle was still burning) but my hand slipped why scraping and it splashed all the hot wax all over my face and shirt. It was like a spontaneous wax facial. That was fun.
Then, for the finale, I started a fire. It started because I have a small obsession with burning paper and blowing it out. I think this is a sign of mental illness, but fire is pretty. So that means it's ok. Right? . . . So I started burning a piece of paper - except I couldn't blow it out in time and I panicked and dropped it in the garbage next to my desk. The garbage that was full of paper. The garbage can lit up like it was full of gasoline. My first reaction was annoyance at how quickly it burst into flames because whenever I'm camping, I can NEVER get the campfire to start. But of course now, when I don't want to start a fire, I have super fire starting abilities. Apparently.
Anyway, so I have a rather large fire going in my trash can and I was kinda freaking out. So I go to the sink and try to fit my trash can under the faucet but my trash can was too big and I didn't have enough room. So I dumped all the burning trash into the sink thinking this was a genius move. And then I watched as the small stream of water from the faucet didn't even touch 90% of the burning mess. So I started cupping my hands and filling it with water and splashing the fire. And yes, I effectively splashed the fire to death. I think I should really look into fire fighting. I apparently have some great skills. I'm sure the local fire fighters would be really impressed. Either that, or really concerned about my ability to start fires. Maybe I should just keep this story to myself.

So I got a new job

I know this comes as a shock after reading the post title, but I got a new job. I'm still working within American Express but now I'm in Global Business Travel. It's a promotion, and the coolest part is that I now work from home. It's incredibly surreal. I've been in the new job for about a month now and I still feel like my old boss will call me any day and ask me where I've been. It's very odd. For about the first week and a half on the new job I didn't have anything to do because I was waiting for all of my equipment so that I could work from home. I was at home, bored, and full of anticipation for the new position. So what did I do? Crafts, of course. I wanted decorations for my new home office walls, so I made the incredibly stupid idea to make them. I made this decoration out of toilet paper rolls. It's something that I saw on pinterest and I actually really like how it turned out:

Then I made this sign with a quote that I really love:

I decide how hard a craft is by how much crying is involved. So the first craft was easy. The sign, however was a little difficult. Not at first though. At first I was thrilled on how simple it was. But it didn't look right. I couldn't figure out what was wrong. This is what it looked like at first:

Notice anything off? Yeah. That kinda ruined my day. I literally had to slowly peel off the paint and reposition the letters. That was fun.
This is what my office area looks like with everything finally put together: (the thing on the right is a white board. I have an intense obsession with making lists.)

It's been an interesting couple of weeks. I've been trying to adjust to working from home which seems like a simple concept, but it's more difficult than I first thought. Here's what I've learned so far:

• I can save a lot of gas working from home
• I also save the 2.6 seconds I normally would spend picking out a work outfit. Now my work outfit is whatever I happen to wake up in, which is awkward when I'm 'working' at my 'office' and the apartment maintenance guy literally comes walking in. Unannounced. True story.
• Being at home all day long really makes you notice how much you need to clean your apartment. The daylight really makes the dust stand out. And when you're faced with an impossible project, cleaning a toilet doesn't seem so hard. In fact, it seems like a delightful diversion.
• It's fun being able to decide when I take breaks. But I've learned that I cannot turn on the tv during my breaks. Because I intend to take a 10 minute breather, and then suddenly I'm finishing a 10 hour Real Housewives marathon. It's a problem.
• Now that I get to decide when I work, I decided to work until the work is done. The problem with that is: I work until the work is done. I'm a little bit of a perfectionist when it comes to work, so I will obsess over a project until I've done every possible thing to improve it. So this has not helped my sleep situation.

All in all, I really like my new job. I like the change, the challenge, and I actually do like working from home.

That's the end of my story.

So I interrupt our regular programming for a very serious question

So . . . you know FBI has a 'Most Wanted' list? Well I was thinking this morning - and wouldn't that mean they have other lists? Like, in order to have a most wanted, you'd also have a least wanted. And that just opens up all kinds of list possibilities. Like, I bet they have a 'Mildly Annoying' list, and a 'If we were to accidentally kill you we wouldn't cry at your funeral' list, etc. And I really really want to be on the 'Mildly Annoying' list. And if I wanted to shoot for the stars and really go for my dreams then honestly I can see myself being completely fulfilled in life if I got to be the one making the lists. The possibilities! And of course, I'd have to have fun with it. I mean, don't you think the FBI folks could use a chuckle or two? I'm sure they would find it amusing if I swapped out one of the Most Wanted guys for my high school Spanish teacher. For just like a week or two. So much wasted potential. And revenge opportunities.

So I'm still alive.

Hello there. Nice to see you. So I kinda forgot about this whole blog thing. It's funny how that happens. And to be honest, I don't really have anything really inspiring or earth shattering to share, but just thought I'd drop in.

Nothing's really changed. I'm still getting into weird situations, not sleeping, and having random health issues. Lately I've been changing what I eat, just to keep it interesting. Last week I decided to try all different brands of yogurt because I'm trying to find the best one. So every morning for breakfast I had a different kind. I was worried though that by the end of the week I would forget which brand I liked or didn't like. So I started writing my 'review' for the yogurt down on whatever was closest. So on random pieces of paper at work I have things written down like: 'Cascade Fresh: sour and lumpy', 'Stonyfield: liquidy and chunky', 'Chobani: possibly grabbed sour cream on accident?', 'Athenos: expired? or just really funky?'. And because I'm apparently really not organized, I wrote each one on something completely different. One was on a meeting agenda, one was a on a presentation, one on my calendar, etc. It makes for some fun reading and explanation for my co-workers that are wondering who I'm calling liquidy and chunky. Doesn't that description just make you hungry? Yum.

So it's been awhile

I have been busy and have kinda stayed away from the whole blogging idea for the last couple weeks. I've been trying to think of anything noteworthy to update with and this is all I've got:

- Remember how I got a flat tire while my nephew was in the car? Well he has yet to quit reminding me that my car is busted and that "Chelsie, you really shouldn't busted your car." Well, then a couple of weeks ago he was over at my apartment when my sister and I were bringing in groceries. My sister accidentally dropped a thing of sodas on the ground where 2 promptly self destructed. I brought the rest into the apartment and set it on the counter. As soon as I did, several cans dropped to the kitchen floor and burst open. The soda sprayed EVERYWHERE . . . the walls, the microwave, the ceiling, etc. I was kinda staring in disbelief when Ridge, who was watching from a couple feet away looked amazed. He then said, "What happened Chelsie? Your house 'splode (explode)?" So now he tells me that my car is busted and my house 'splode. Just Grand.
- I saw a trainer/fitness chick/hater-of-all-that-is-pain-free a couple of days ago. She apparently though I was in training to become a line backer, because she had me doing up-downs and all kinds of crazy exercises. By the end of it I couldn't feel my legs, and now I wish I couldn't feel my legs. It hurts so bad that I can barely get out of a chair, let alone walk. I've procrastinated anything that requires movement including going to the bathroom and sneezing. I'm now walking so funny that I've contemplated finding a wheel chair for the next couple or months, or whenever my muscles recover - whichever comes first. Which is ironic because I'm supposed to be working out so I could walk more, not less. I've learned my lesson: Exercise is bad for my health.

Yeah, that's pretty much it. Pretty boring.

So I cannot say goodbye

I'm in a predicament. So, to try and explain you have to understand that I am about the opposite of a hoarder with most things. I do not like holding on to a bunch of stuff, and have, on several occasions, thrown perfectly good items away. I'm talking clothes, movies, cds, childhood items, etc. I know it can be seen as wasteful - but I just hate having so much CLUTTER everywhere. If I don't use it - it's gone.

With that said, I randomly get extremely attached to certain things. I'm sure you're thinking that this is totally normal. However, let me demonstrate how I'm once again NOT normal.

The year is 1995 and I am in fifth grade. The world became fascinated with the scrunchie. All the girls in my grade literally couldn't go a day without accessorizing with a scrunchie on the wrist. And it was never just one scrunchie . . . it was always several (apparently in case some fatal accident occurs that requires the assistance of multiple scrunchies to . . . hold someones hair back.) So being the cool, classy chick that I am (don't all laugh at once) I followed suit and wore more scrunichies on my arm than anyones hair called for.I came in from recess one day and realized that in the process of walking around the fields (because playing on the swings was SO beneath me) I had lost a scrunchie. I immediately became so devastated that I rushed to my teacher and tearfully explained that I lost my scrunchie at lunch and absolutely HAD to go outside to find it. She pointedly looked at the remaining perfectly good scrunchies wrapped around my wrist and told me that I couldn't, but that she was sure it would show up in Lost and Found the next day. It didn't. I was so traumatized over this, that YES, I obviously still remember it. Being that attached to a hair accessory isn't healthy.

Well, it's happening again. You might remember that my computer is dying. It's been dying for awhile now and I'm having a hard time accepting it. And there's no doubt that it's over for this computer. It's literally being held together with masking tape in some places (aren't you surprised that I didn't use hot glue?) (not that I didn't think about it. But the masking tape was closer. I think that's how all life decisions should be made . . . which way is faster?). This computer has played it's last song, it has surfed it's last web, it has . . . well, you get the idea. And I was recently able to buy a new computer. The new computer is amazing - it has everything that the old computer doesn't have (um, it's functioning) and more. And yet I do not want to get rid of the old computer. Certain siblings have even offered to take it off my hands to squeeze the last bit of power out of it. It's probably selfish of me, but I can't let it go. I have had this computer for 4 years and I've used it pretty much every single day. I'm pretty sure this computer is going to be sitting on my desk until I'm 72. Like I said, I'm in a predicament.

So have you ever gone into a room and forgot what you needed? Yeah, I did that. But instead of a room, I went to WalMart.

This last week I was supposed to have 4 days off of work. Instead, I decided to do overtime. Not because I missed the wonderful world of work, but because everything I own apparently had a secret pact to all break at the same time. My TV died (we've been over that), my computer is on it's last leg, my cell phone is randomly freezing and turning itself off, and my dresser literally rocks back and forth when touched. It's gotten so bad that I've decided that any clothes in the dresser are off limits - it's not worth risking it's collapse. So I worked 11 hours on Thursday and was exhausted when I got home. However, I had to rearrange my bedroom because my parents were getting me a new Queen sized bed on Saturday. Currently I have a twin sized bed (I KNOW!!) so, I have to move furniture around to make it all fit. And I decided to completely organize EVERYTHING in my room in the process. Because I apparently thought that I needed to reach new levels of exhaustion. After I completely finished I was getting ready for bed because I had to be at work the next day at 5 am. I was so ready for bed and then I realized that in the process of moving and organizing, I had completely lost my alarm clock. And the only back up alarm I have is my phone. You know, the phone that randomly freezes and dies. Super reliable. So I decided to tear everything apart looking for for the clock. Hours later, I gave up the search because it was close to 2am, and I had to be up at 4:30. But I still couldn't sleep because I was so sure I wouldn't be able to wake up. Even when I did kind of drift off, I would wake up in a panic, sure that I overslept. So Friday I was kind of in a fog of exhaustion. It wasn't pretty. But I was determined to get everything done. I finished work and remembered that the day before I had made a long list of things I needed at WalMart. I remembered that there were several things that I really needed for the weekend. So I got to WalMart, and had gotten into the store before I realized I couldn't remember even one thing I actually needed. I was walking around thinking that blankly staring down every aisle would help me remember something, anything. No luck. And in my sleep deprived state I was really upset thinking that I would leave empty handed. So I decided to grab the closest item and buy that so my trip wouldn't be in vain.

Which is why I left WalMart with a peach candle.