So Sports are draining

So my little sister Jarica is in volleyball - she's actually really good (not that it comes as a surprise that she's good at something, more that anyone in our family is good at sports, this comes from a family that is SO lazy that me and my sister Kayla would be in bed and wouldn't want to get up and turn off the light at night so we would throw anything in reach at the light switch hoping it would hit it and flip the light off. More often than not we just ended up breaking the light switch. And then we would look at each other and go to bed with the light on.) Anyway, so over the years I have gone to multiple volleyball games of hers to support her and I've noticed that even thought the teams she's been on have changed, the team she's playing change, there are similarities that they all share that I would really like to see go. 

Like, the game is held in the YMCA and the genius that set up the court puts the bleachers about 2 feet from the court, so if you sneeze, you have a chance of hitting a player. Right before the game all the girls are warming up and they have approximately 17 balls to every girl and they are all spiking them, in no particular direction except most the time it ends up hitting the people on the bleachers. So you have to be on high alert as well as extremely coordinated or you'll get hit in the head, or eyeball, or ear. Like I did. 3 times. And thats when I decided that reading a book and hoping I'll just sense when a ball was wizzing toward me wasn't such a spectacular idea. But then when I did start paying attention and noticed a ball coming at me I got like stage fright and froze up and kicked the ball instead of catching it. That happened multiple times and I always got evil eyes from the YMCA referee's so I decided to just find a small child and use them as a shield. 

Something that seriously annoys me more than anything is when everyone shouts at the players before they even start the game. They are like getting into their positions on the team and as soon as they step on the court it is apparently a signal to the ret of the world to start yelling at them. They all scream "C'mon girls!!" about 32 times followed by "Teamwork!!" Where are these girls supposed to c'mon to? They haven't done anything! And then there the obnoxious teams that everytime the ball goes out of bounds they all scream "OUT!!!!!" as loud as they can. Why is that? Can't they like appoint someone to determine if a ball out so they don't have to scream for the rest of the world? Oh, wait! They do. Its a referee. And then they have the cheers they do for themselves, like when someone hits the ball over well, they'll all scream, "In-STANT re-PLAY!!"(stamp, stamp, stamp-stamp-stamp). They have intricate foot and hand gestures for them too. Could you imagine if pro football players cheered for themselves too when they scored a touch down? I might actually attend those games if they did. 

So I had a bad dream

I'm like a little kid in SO many ways but one of them is that I get freakish nightmares. They're not any regular nightmare, they are like nightmares on steroids. I think its probably because my imagination is so out there when I'm awake and able to control it somewhat that at night it just goes beserk. Anyway, so last night I had a HORRIBLE dream - and I normally wouldn't post this kinda thing, there's a reason, I swear. Well, in real life my little sister Jarica, who is like 12 is seriously afraid to be alone ever. She will have almost full on panic attacks if she is left home alone, and in my dream I dreamt that she passed away and her ghost or spirit was still here. But no one knew but me and she was just bawling always because she was alone and no one was with her where she was. In my dream I tried to just sit with her as most as I could, but I would have to go to work or something and she would beg and scream for me to please not go away. I can't even explain how much the dream tore me up - to feel so helpless to comfort my little sister - it was unfathomable. I was so sad when I woke up - my dreams really affect me, and then the thought came that that kind of thing would never happen - and I know that because I'm Mormon and have the knowledge of what happens after we pass away and that if my little sister did pass away she would never be alone. I was able to put the dream out of my mind because I was so comforted by that thought. But then later today I had the thought come, what do people do that don't have that knowledge? The people that think that your spirit just wanders or something after you die? I don't think I would be strong enough to be a parent if I didn't know that if anything happened to my children and they passed away, they would be taken care of. Ok, I'm done being serious.

So, I was walking to my car after work and following behind these two random guys who were talking and I overheard (ok, I was eavesdropping), but I heard them talking and the first guy was saying that he had a headache and the second guy said to take an aspirin and the second guy said,

"No, I can't. I have like no tolerance for drugs. If I'm ever in war and am captured they could get all my information just by giving me sudafed. I'd be all, 'My name is John. I like puppies and cry during chick flicks.' "

This just cracked me up and left me with a lot of unanswered questions. First of all, what does he think prisoners of war actually go thru? I don't know what idiot teacher said it was full of ice breaker games where people stand up and say, "My name is Billy Bob. I like pina coladas and getting lost in the rain." And second of all, is their a way to contact the like head of the armed forces to let him know to NEVER let this guy enlist? Because seriously, that's all we need is some dude going around telling all our secrets because he had a headache. And third, is it horrible that I totally judge him for picking those two things to describe himself? Puppies and chick flicks? REALLY? Were you trying to hint to the second guy that you don't see him just as a friend? Cus, I think it worked. They stopped talking after that. Hmmmm . .   . maybe it was because they saw me listening and got weirded out. No, I'm going with the first one.

So Tyra Banks had a stalker

Apparently Tyra Banks had a stalker that has been caught and part of his sentence is that he has to successfully complete an "Anti-Stalking Class". Is that not officially like the best idea ever?? So, how I imagine it is kinda like what they do with Joey on Friends. Maybe I'm the only one that has watched every single episode but for those that are freaks like me do you remember when Rachel was teaching Joey "good thing, bad thing"? And when stuff happened that would freak a normal person out he was all excited and she was all, "Remember how we talked about good thing, bad thing? Now Joey, this is a BAD thing."
I would totally PAY to sit in that anti-stalking class. I imagine the instructor would be listing things off, like, "Watching someone with binonculars while they're sleeping? BAD THING. Following people home? BAD THING." and then of course one of the stalkers would be like, "Well what if we call someone . . . " and the instructor would be all,"well, I guess good thi-" and he finishes,"37 times a day?" And the instructor was all "No, no, no calling 37 times a day is a BAD THING!" (Instead of saying the pledge of allegiance they probably all sing their theme song "Every Step You Take." I know, I'm totally beating that dead horse, but it's hilarious . .. . .to me, anyway. )

So, I'm super freakin frustrated

So - some people know, some people don't but I have a hard time (to put it lightly) sleeping. It started in college when I couldn't sleep at night because our dorm room door slammed shut whenever people opened it and I wasn't used to people being around and talking, listening to music, etc when I was trying to sleep. So my mom gave me over the counter sleeping pills. They worked, and I took 2 on nights that it was really hard to doze off. That was, what, like 3 years ago? Man, I'm old. Anyway, so since then I've gotten steadly worse and not being able to sleep. It's gotten to the point now that I am taking 6 benedryl and 3 over the counter sleeping pills to even have a chance of getting sleep. I'm tried getting off multiple times and I'll literally go 72 hours with no sleep before I cave and take some meds. The amount that I'm taking is something I realize is not healthy - I get that - but even that isn't making a difference anymore. Last night I think I got about 3 hours. And even when I do get sleep its not goo dquality sleep because I have sleep apnea and all these other issues that keep me waking up. This is getting to be the norm. And I'm sick to death of it. I'll be watching a show on tv where a character like falls asleep in class or something and I get actually mad thinking how unfair it is that people can just fall asleep so easily. I've tried 4 different prescription sleeping pills - none of them made a difference. I accidentally took them during the day and didn't realize it until hours later. Made no difference at all. One dr finally gave me one prescription that was really strong he said and it did make me fall asleep - but I felt like I was under water for like 20 hours. He called to see if it worked and I told him yes, but I couldn't function the next day. He said he was suprised that I woke up the next day at all because the drug he gave me is something they only give hospitalized patients that need to be put to sleep for a very long time. He said most people sleep at least 24 hours with it and it is extremely strong. So, yeah. If I could sleep all day, that would work. But at the time I was supposed to be at work at 6am. Now, I work at 7 am. So, I went back to my coctail of benedryl and sleeping pills. But I am SO sick of it. My patience is like nonexistant when I'm this tired and I feel bad because I will snap at people and get angry at the stupidest things and it seems so lame to say that its because I'm tired. But it really is, I've been tired for years now. I'm not looking for solutions on here or sympathy, its just been one of those days where I feel like I cannot even function - I've come close to slapping a coworker because she was humming. It's not good. I shouldn't be allowed in public when I'm this tired. Ok, thats the end.

So, my shoe broke. AGAIN. Oh, and birth control. Don't ask me how they are related.

So, I have this curse where I break like everything I come in contact with. It's forced me to get warranties for anything over $20. (Which - all warranties by the way always exclude coverage if the product was water damaged. So, if my laptop gets dropped in a toilet I'm so totally going to run it over with my car so that when I bring it in they can't be all, 'Ma'm that thing is still dripping from the toilet water. We don't cover toilet accidents.') Anyways, (wait - back up, why would my latop get dropped in the toilet? I don't normally make it a habit to check my email on the toilet. Well, anymore than the average person. Which is like 3 times a week, right?) ANYWAYS, so I break things. And I have literally had 9 flip flops break while I've been at work. And always while I am sitting. I wasn't running, or doing jumping jacks, (that would be a site, huh?) , no I was just sitting there and POP! they just self destructed. So I have tried to repair them with anything I could find at the office which includes staples - which, by the way - DON"T DO!! The staples get loose while you are walking and the staples wedge themselves INTO YOUR FOOT. Using tape is a joke - glue never dries, and paper clips don't fit. You would think that after breaking my shoes that many times I would learn and buy better shoes or bring a spare. Well, I didn't stop buying the $2 flip flops at Old Navy but I did bring a spare. And that worked fabulously until my shoes broke again and I wore my spares home. And never brought them back. So today my flip flops broke yet again, and I had no spare. But, I found string! And the string worked better than all the other attempts combined. And they add a bit of style, I think. Not enough style that I'll wear them again, but just enough that I proudly showed my handiwork to my colleagues. And they all shook their heads and muttered something about getting back on medication. 

So, totally off subject, but who else totally loves the YAZ commercial? You know, the birth control? Ok - so this chick comes on and says, "So basically, the FDA called our bluff. Apparently you can't pretend that your birth control has like super magical powers like promising no PMS or the cure for cancer. So, all that stuff before? Just like, pretend it didn't happen, k? YAZ is just a regular old birth control pills. HAPPY FDA????" It's like the best commercial ever. Just for full disclosure - that wasn't a direct quote, more like paraphrasing. I so think my version is better. 

So I'm Undecided . . . .

So this song, "Every Breath You Take", is it a sweet, sentimental love song or a super creepy anthem that unites stalkers everywhere? What do you think?

Every Breath You Take lyrics

Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I'll be watching you.
Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
I'll be watching you.
Oh can't you see
You belong to me?
How my poor heart aches with every step you take.
Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
I'll be watching you.
Since you've gone I've been lost without a trace.
I dream at night, I can only see your face.
I look around but it's you I can't replace.
I feel so cold and I long for your embrace
I keep calling baby, baby please..................
Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
I'll be watching you.
Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
I'll be watching you....... 

So, A look inside the mind of Chelsie . . . it's a scary, scary place folks.

So for those that don't know, I work at Amex in Merchant Services. I talk to tons of people every day and sometimes speak to people whose names are just . . . odd. One that I had a couple of months ago was named Ikram U. Butt . We are supposed to call them Ms. or Mr. and their last name, but I just couldn't call him Mr. Butt. I couldn't do it. I called him sir, and thankfully didn't laugh while I was on the call. Then I got another weird one today, and his name was LaBoob Butt. (What is with all the butts?) And being the freak that I am I wondered how the heck someone would name their kid LaBoob Butt. Then I got a visual of his mom in labor with him and after 20 something hours in labor she was ticked and tired and was angry that the kid wouldn't just come out already. When he is finally born the nurses whisk him away and one nurse turns to the mom and says,
"I need a name for the boy. You know, to put on his birth certificate."
The mom is still gasping for breath after working so hard for the little guy and is well, a little hormonal and says,
" I DON'T CARE!! I'm tired and I want to sleep! Leave me alone!"
The nurse looks at her and says,
" I understand that. But this is your son, and he needs a name."
The mom, now even more angry says,
" FINE!! I'll name him LaBoob Butt."
The nurse looks confused and said
" Um, but your last name is Jones."
and the mom says,
"Yeah, well, he came OUT OF MY BUTT!"
This is how my mind works. Its very entertaining but makes me wonder if I should be kept in padded room at all times.

So, it was Cambree's 3rd Birthday!

Cambree turned 3! I offered to make the cake - kinda dumb of me, I stress out too much over it, then I watch it get eaten right after it was done being made. Cambree is OBSESSED with princesses, and so I wanted a princess cake.

She looked so happy when she saw the cake. It made all the work worth it.

I put a ton of candles on the cake, because as a kid, I thought the candles were the best part. She looked a little overwhelmed when she saw them all lit. She went to town trying to blow them out, and just couldn't get the job done. We recruited the other kids to join blowing them out. Then the kids just started digging in. It was so funny. Ridge looked like a little monkey on the table, eating away. So cute.

So We Went Swimming . . .

Being in Phoenix in the summer makes it almost impossible to be outside without going swimming. We had Cambree and Ridge here for about a week and a half and while they were here they loved going swimming. They were sitting outside drying off and Cambree started grooming Jarica's hair. 

So, Catching Up . . .

So, I'll start at the beginning. So for mother's day my dad and uncles rented a stretch hummer and took them out to dinner and a movie. It was quite the event. 

She also got these GORGEOUS roses from my sister Kayla among other things. I couldn't get over how pretty they were. 

We also got to have Cambree and Ridge, my niece and nephew over. They are the CUTEST kids ever. I could just take pics of them all day. And sometimes, I do. Here's some of my favs from their visit: 

 Cambree wouldn't cooperate and smile for me, and was being kinda grumpy and just started staring out into the distance. Even when she's not happy, she's still gorgeous.

I got this one of Ridge when he was bouncing on a stability ball with my sister Jarica. He's such a happy boy.