Monday, June 15, 2009

So, my shoe broke. AGAIN. Oh, and birth control. Don't ask me how they are related.

So, I have this curse where I break like everything I come in contact with. It's forced me to get warranties for anything over $20. (Which - all warranties by the way always exclude coverage if the product was water damaged. So, if my laptop gets dropped in a toilet I'm so totally going to run it over with my car so that when I bring it in they can't be all, 'Ma'm that thing is still dripping from the toilet water. We don't cover toilet accidents.') Anyways, (wait - back up, why would my latop get dropped in the toilet? I don't normally make it a habit to check my email on the toilet. Well, anymore than the average person. Which is like 3 times a week, right?) ANYWAYS, so I break things. And I have literally had 9 flip flops break while I've been at work. And always while I am sitting. I wasn't running, or doing jumping jacks, (that would be a site, huh?) , no I was just sitting there and POP! they just self destructed. So I have tried to repair them with anything I could find at the office which includes staples - which, by the way - DON"T DO!! The staples get loose while you are walking and the staples wedge themselves INTO YOUR FOOT. Using tape is a joke - glue never dries, and paper clips don't fit. You would think that after breaking my shoes that many times I would learn and buy better shoes or bring a spare. Well, I didn't stop buying the $2 flip flops at Old Navy but I did bring a spare. And that worked fabulously until my shoes broke again and I wore my spares home. And never brought them back. So today my flip flops broke yet again, and I had no spare. But, I found string! And the string worked better than all the other attempts combined. And they add a bit of style, I think. Not enough style that I'll wear them again, but just enough that I proudly showed my handiwork to my colleagues. And they all shook their heads and muttered something about getting back on medication. 
So, totally off subject, but who else totally loves the YAZ commercial? You know, the birth control? Ok - so this chick comes on and says, "So basically, the FDA called our bluff. Apparently you can't pretend that your birth control has like super magical powers like promising no PMS or the cure for cancer. So, all that stuff before? Just like, pretend it didn't happen, k? YAZ is just a regular old birth control pills. HAPPY FDA????" It's like the best commercial ever. Just for full disclosure - that wasn't a direct quote, more like paraphrasing. I so think my version is better. 

2 comments:

Chantel said...

I find it hilarious that you write exactly how you talk. I can see and hear you saying that whole post yourself. Anyways, you lead an interesting life.

Amy Juhasz said...

I agree with Chantel, I love it. Brings back memories of your talking randomness in our college dorm. I love it! I miss you girl!