So I can't do anything normal . . .. .

I moved. It's pretty exciting. We did it the day after Christmas which kinda killed Christmas for me. I live on the 3rd floor which made moving furniture a super awesome experience. So last night I was blow drying my hair at around 8:30 and apparently blew a fuse. So it was pitch black because I have black out curtains and have no flashlight. I also had no clue where the fuse box was. So, guided by the light of my cell phone, I searched EVERYWHERE trying to find this stinkin fuse box. The most annoying part was that I had finally put everything away - everything was organized and pretty and I had to tear stuff out to try and search the walls. The only thing that I could see that could be considered a fuse box was this metal thing that said "GE Connection Center" on it. The problem was that is was screwed shut and was close to the ceiling in my closet. So, of course, I don't have a ladder or a screw driver, or a flashlight, so I ended up balancing on two chairs holding the cell phone for light and using a butter knife to try and unscrew the metal compartment thing. So, yeah, that didn't work. I ended up having to get my Dad to drive out to help. Within ten minutes he found the fuse box. It was behind the door of my room! I had kept the door open and if I had just shut it I would have seen it. I am such a winner.

So Katy got married!!

Katy got married in Los Angeles. It was a beautiful wedding and she looked gorgeous! Here's some of the fun times we had: (Click on the pics to get a closer look)

So life has been busy . . . .

**Totally stole the cake pics from my sister's blog. My pictures sucked real bad.**

So work has kinda taken over my life lately but it's ok because I just got promoted. So, yea! But I haven't had time to blog so I'll kind of catch up.

There are a few things that stick out from the last couple of weeks.
My nephew, Ridge, had his second birthday and I made a tractor cake for him. It was by far the easiest cake I've made and Ridge really really loved it. While I was making it he kept just sitting at the table saying, "Look! TRACTOR!!" to everyone he saw. So cute.

So, I also made a new hobby (apparently) of publicly humiliating my supervisor. It's kind of a lot of fun. Our team at work has certain stats that we have to hit, and we made a deal that if our team exceeded a certain number that he has to wear a shirt that I make. The front says "I (heart) Ken Chenault" who is the CEO of American Express, and the back says "Premium Servicing is my life". Premium Servicing is the name of our department. The letters are lined with glitter - which makes it super fun because we'll be finding glitter ten years from now.

So traffic school sucks and other amazing revelations

So I got a ticket. Big surprise, I know. And things have changed since I got a ticket last. You can do it online now!! I was super excited until I saw the million requirements when you do it online. You have to fax your citation with random signed paperwork, a blood sample, and pictures with yourself and the officer that gave you the ticket. THEN you have to have a notary WATCH YOU TAKE THE FINAL TEST. Then they have to sign forms saying they watched you do it. I would *almost* rather sit in a stuffy room all day with random strangers and watch car accidents on video. There is, however, a bright spot in all this. They sent a list of approved traffic schools online and the names of some of them are awesome:

toolazyfortrafficschool.com

onenotguilty.com

comedytrafficschool.com

gottaticket.com

happytrafficschool.com

wheelhavefunonline.com

laughandlearnonline.com

*I may have exaggerated some of the requirements . . . . but the notary thing is totally true. How ridiculous is that? On a related note . .. . . any notary's out there that don't mind traveling to my house and sit in my room as I take the test? I'll bake you some snazzy cookies . . . .

So I just found these pics and had to share . . . .

Not too long ago my cousin Katy and I made truffles. Well, to be honest, Katy made them and I pretended to be helpful. I gave Ridge and Cambree some truffles to try. Cambree ate it very carefully and wanted to wash her hands as soon as she was done. But Ridge ate it s-l-o-w-l-y and made a HUGE mess. But he enjoyed it and was cute while doing it, so I forgave him. 

So I'm writing this on my lunch break because you know what I'm NOT doing? Eating this. I cooked it and holy moly. I was ridiculously hungry, and the box makes it look ok - and I love real chicken parmesan but it has approximately 32,000 calories, so I thought this would do. Yeah, the chicken was literally a greenish brown. Green is not flattering or appetizing on chicken - strike that - ANY meat. I forced myself to eat a bite though because this was all I had and I may die from hunger by the end of the day. (It could happen.) The chicken had not only the consistency but also the taste of rubber. Blahk!!! And the sauce I'm pretty sure is straight tomato paste. I would actually rather eat a pb&j sandwich than eat this - and that is really saying something. Any0ne know good Lean Cuisines/Smart Ones?

P.S. I'm dying of hunger here.

So, my new niece is super cute

My family and I went to Thatcher for Brecklynn's blessing. She is SO adorable. Here's some pics:

So, Flagstaff

Flagstaff was an incredibly stressful time. My sister Kayla asked that I would help with the YMCA event. She's the director over the YMCA and needed someone that knew something about cakes. I don't know if I'm really qualified for that, but I knew that she needed help, so I agreed. I spent HOURS planning the best techniques to teach that are simple and fun for kids of all ages. I made little Cake Tip books for all the kids and made tons of cakes and frosting. It was kinda ridiculous how much I stressed over it. So, when I got up to Flagstaff I spent more time with Kayla organizing the frosting tips, dying the frosting the right color, and running around. When the event finally started the kids ended up just running to the tables and squeezing the frosting all over the place - they didn't care what tip they had, what color, anything. Some were even 'decorating' the cake tips books I made. I should've figured that kids would've been happy with anything in sugar form and just ran with it.

 Kayla made cakes and frosting too - and when she made the frosting we both found out why it is important to use clear vanilla extract. Hers looked like mashed potatoes, or lard, or something that is not frosting. It all ended well though - the kids had fun, there were a ton of people and their cakes turned out cute. And I will never make a cake again.

So, let's play catch up -- - San Diego

So San Diego was great. Before we left I thought it would be a fabulous idea to bring my laptop and watch movies and shows while we drove. Well, my laptop isn't very loud on its own so we were both straining to hear so I hooked the audio up to the car and it was loud - but for whatever reason their was this really loud, really annoying, hum that accompanied it. And we still used it. That was super fun.  I got a screaming deal on a hotel - which was virtually impossible because the weekend we were there was comic con weekend and everything was sold out - not to mention hiking the prices due to demand. It was amazing - we basically paid $50 bucks a night for a room in the Hampton Inn. It was a brand new hotel and the rooms were HUGE. We couldn't get over it, and then we saw that our room was handicap accessible, which was pretty convenient because there was  a phone next to the toilet - (which really made me feel more secure, you know), and handy bars in the shower. I think from now on I'm going to request a handicap accessible room.

The San Diego Temple is gorgeous! So beautiful, and the weather in San Diego just made it feel even more like paradise. Erica and her husband looked so great - I loved their colors, and their shoes were so cute. Is it bad that I took more pictures of their feet than their faces? 

So my luck sucks lately

I've been MIA online because my computer died. My lovely Mac that I would brag about because I've never had any problems with it just totally quit. I cried. I went into mourning. And then I sent it to get fixed. And the hard drive is apparently the thing that died, and I don't know much about computers but your hard drive is apparently like an important part. Oh, and by the way, you lose like EVERYTHING on your computer when that dies. All my pics, all my music, everything. So I cried some more. And you don't realize just how much you use your computer until it is gone. I don't know what to do - it's driving me insane. It's been gone a week and I don't get it back for another week. And of course, that isn't the only thing that went wrong, but I can't go into THAT because I really don't want lectures. Let's just say I'm stupid and life suddenly got REALLY expensive. So, life in Chelsie world in general suckasuckasuckasucks. But I'm trying to keep a positive attitude about it. It's not going too well. Once I have my life - I mean my computer - back I'll be able to show pics of San Diego and Flag. Super fabulous.

So my sister had a baby

Yay for babies! My sister had a little girl yesterday morning. They named her Brecklynn. She was 7 lbs 9 ounces and 19 inches. They are both good. This Friday I am going to San Diego with my other sister Kayla. She has a friend Erica Burgen (sp?) getting married in the San Diego temple. I come back on Sunday and then I'm going to Thatcher on Monday to see the new baby. Fun stuff!! So I should have tons of pics next week. Well, if I survive driving 20+ hours in 3 days.

So I'm pretty sure I'm dying

***** UPDATE***** 

So I was just at WalMart and my total came to $6.66. If that isn't a sign I'm going to die, I don't know what is . .. . . . I can't make this crap up.

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I have always had ear infections since . . . . the beginning of time I'm pretty sure. And I normally wait until my ears swell shut before I will go to the dr because ear infections are a pretty expensive hobby to have when you go to the dr every time. So I am all about DIY fixes. So lately I've had ear infections, because, you know, it's the thing to do, and I've been treating it with hydrogen peroxide. I don't just pour the bottle in my ear, I soak a q-tip with it and put it in my ear. Well, hydrogen peroxide bubbles whenever it hits infection and I would go through 4-6 q-tips before they would stop bubbling in my ear. Well, it seems to be working, because my ears stopped bleeding, but now my throat is kinda killer and I'm super nauseous and dizzy so I'm pretty sure I'm dying of hydrogen peroxide poisening. Who knew that like everything is connected? What the crap? Ick. So maybe I should give up and go to the dr except that my dr has seen me trying to do other DIY treatments for all my other problems and tells me that normally I make it worse and I'm pretty sure she's not gonna appreciate having to treat me for hydrogen peroxide poisening. Especially because I'm probably the first one to get it and there isn't a cure yet. And if a Dr is mad at you I'm pretty sure they'll make you get random painful tests just for the heck of it - kinda like how if you are mean to a waitress they'll sneeze in your food? Who knows how many procedures a dr could come up with? And I cry when I get my blood pressure taken (it squeezes REALLY hard ok?!!?) so I don't think I'll last long, so if I don't die from the poisening I'll die from having so many tests. So I tend to avoid letting people who know what they're doing see how badly I've damaged random parts of me. It's like chopping your own hair off and then going to a professional and have them make it look good again. Really stupid ide- wait, I've done that too. Did you know when you are thinning your own hair with thinning scissors you should NOT start cutting at the scalp? It makes for some pretty spiky layers. Who knew, right? (Well, probably the professionals knew that, but they should like have a learners manual that comes with the thinning scissors. They can't expect the general public to just understand what not to do.) They put like warnings on microwave dinners that say obvious stuff like, btw, the product will be hot after you're done cooking it, but they don't think to put a warning on the scissors that says, hey, you know, maybe you shouldn't thin your own hair, maybe you should pay the $10 and go to supercuts. So, I may die today of hydrogen peroxide poisening because going to the dr would be embarrassing and expensive and painful and because I'll be the first one to die from it they'll have to name it after me, you know, like Lou Gehrig's disease. So people in the future can say they died from Chelsie poisening, which is pretty awesome. At least I'll leave a legacy . . . . .

So, the Fourth of July. What's up with that?

I have never been a huge fan of the fourth of July. I know that it makes me sound very un-patriotic - and it has nothing to do with celebrating our nation, more with the fact that I hate the whole traditions. Growing up, my mom would bring us all to some random field and we would spread out scratchy blankets and play games with our cousins but everyone's in a bad mood because it's like 110 degrees out and there is bugs everywhere. Then the fireworks would start, and we would be so close (because we were there 4 hours in advance) that parts of the fireworks would be falling on us and so the kids would all freak out and we would have to move. And then there were the years that my sisters and I were in a performing group Showtime and so we had to dance in front of people waiting for the fireworks so we had caked on makeup and curled hair sprayed with approximately a pound of hairspray and tights and a costume so we were covered and hot and it was so claustrophobic. I know my parents were trying to make it fun, and did the best they could, but I've come to the conclusion that the fourth of July in Phoenix will just never be fun. 

So this year my family apparently was apart of some fundraiser for my brother's football team and had to work at Tempe Town Lake. So even though my sister Jarica and I were not working we were there for . . . . moral support or something. 

 So we sat on this concrete bench under this bridge BAKING in the sun for approximately 32 hours. We were so hot that I kept buying water bottles and we literally poured them over our heads and I threw some in her face. She was mad until she realized it was refreshing and did it also. It was so crowded and we were looking around for a place to sit when we found this:

I've decided from this sign that some Mormon must be responsible for it. Because, c'mon, who else uses the word heck? 

And while everyone was ooohing and ahhhing at the fireworks I was more impressed with this:

Isn't it pretty? It's the prettiest piece of architecture I've seen in the valley. 

On an unrelated note, I've been frustrated lately because I have stuff that I would like to post, stories that I would like to tell, but I don't want everyone and their dog to read it. I know certain people in my life that happen to be ridiculously judgmental and I would never hear the end of it if they knew certain things. It's kinda bumming me out that I can't be myself on here, and I wonder how everyone else does it. I mean especially with kids, there are so many people that would judge a parent for the way you're raising your kids, or things you want to post about your husband but you are afraid your MIL might read it .. . .  you know? Or maybe I'm the only one that doesn't mind everyone knowing everything. It's especially sad because yesterday something really funny happened but I can't post it because normally something funny or crazy happens to me because I'm doing something wrong, which is the case with yesterday.

Oh well, I guess I'll settle for this blog to be only moderately offensive instead of completely offensive. Eh, life goes on. 

So Sports are draining

So my little sister Jarica is in volleyball - she's actually really good (not that it comes as a surprise that she's good at something, more that anyone in our family is good at sports, this comes from a family that is SO lazy that me and my sister Kayla would be in bed and wouldn't want to get up and turn off the light at night so we would throw anything in reach at the light switch hoping it would hit it and flip the light off. More often than not we just ended up breaking the light switch. And then we would look at each other and go to bed with the light on.) Anyway, so over the years I have gone to multiple volleyball games of hers to support her and I've noticed that even thought the teams she's been on have changed, the team she's playing change, there are similarities that they all share that I would really like to see go. 

Like, the game is held in the YMCA and the genius that set up the court puts the bleachers about 2 feet from the court, so if you sneeze, you have a chance of hitting a player. Right before the game all the girls are warming up and they have approximately 17 balls to every girl and they are all spiking them, in no particular direction except most the time it ends up hitting the people on the bleachers. So you have to be on high alert as well as extremely coordinated or you'll get hit in the head, or eyeball, or ear. Like I did. 3 times. And thats when I decided that reading a book and hoping I'll just sense when a ball was wizzing toward me wasn't such a spectacular idea. But then when I did start paying attention and noticed a ball coming at me I got like stage fright and froze up and kicked the ball instead of catching it. That happened multiple times and I always got evil eyes from the YMCA referee's so I decided to just find a small child and use them as a shield. 

Something that seriously annoys me more than anything is when everyone shouts at the players before they even start the game. They are like getting into their positions on the team and as soon as they step on the court it is apparently a signal to the ret of the world to start yelling at them. They all scream "C'mon girls!!" about 32 times followed by "Teamwork!!" Where are these girls supposed to c'mon to? They haven't done anything! And then there the obnoxious teams that everytime the ball goes out of bounds they all scream "OUT!!!!!" as loud as they can. Why is that? Can't they like appoint someone to determine if a ball out so they don't have to scream for the rest of the world? Oh, wait! They do. Its a referee. And then they have the cheers they do for themselves, like when someone hits the ball over well, they'll all scream, "In-STANT re-PLAY!!"(stamp, stamp, stamp-stamp-stamp). They have intricate foot and hand gestures for them too. Could you imagine if pro football players cheered for themselves too when they scored a touch down? I might actually attend those games if they did. 

So I had a bad dream

I'm like a little kid in SO many ways but one of them is that I get freakish nightmares. They're not any regular nightmare, they are like nightmares on steroids. I think its probably because my imagination is so out there when I'm awake and able to control it somewhat that at night it just goes beserk. Anyway, so last night I had a HORRIBLE dream - and I normally wouldn't post this kinda thing, there's a reason, I swear. Well, in real life my little sister Jarica, who is like 12 is seriously afraid to be alone ever. She will have almost full on panic attacks if she is left home alone, and in my dream I dreamt that she passed away and her ghost or spirit was still here. But no one knew but me and she was just bawling always because she was alone and no one was with her where she was. In my dream I tried to just sit with her as most as I could, but I would have to go to work or something and she would beg and scream for me to please not go away. I can't even explain how much the dream tore me up - to feel so helpless to comfort my little sister - it was unfathomable. I was so sad when I woke up - my dreams really affect me, and then the thought came that that kind of thing would never happen - and I know that because I'm Mormon and have the knowledge of what happens after we pass away and that if my little sister did pass away she would never be alone. I was able to put the dream out of my mind because I was so comforted by that thought. But then later today I had the thought come, what do people do that don't have that knowledge? The people that think that your spirit just wanders or something after you die? I don't think I would be strong enough to be a parent if I didn't know that if anything happened to my children and they passed away, they would be taken care of. Ok, I'm done being serious.

So, I was walking to my car after work and following behind these two random guys who were talking and I overheard (ok, I was eavesdropping), but I heard them talking and the first guy was saying that he had a headache and the second guy said to take an aspirin and the second guy said,

"No, I can't. I have like no tolerance for drugs. If I'm ever in war and am captured they could get all my information just by giving me sudafed. I'd be all, 'My name is John. I like puppies and cry during chick flicks.' "

This just cracked me up and left me with a lot of unanswered questions. First of all, what does he think prisoners of war actually go thru? I don't know what idiot teacher said it was full of ice breaker games where people stand up and say, "My name is Billy Bob. I like pina coladas and getting lost in the rain." And second of all, is their a way to contact the like head of the armed forces to let him know to NEVER let this guy enlist? Because seriously, that's all we need is some dude going around telling all our secrets because he had a headache. And third, is it horrible that I totally judge him for picking those two things to describe himself? Puppies and chick flicks? REALLY? Were you trying to hint to the second guy that you don't see him just as a friend? Cus, I think it worked. They stopped talking after that. Hmmmm . .   . maybe it was because they saw me listening and got weirded out. No, I'm going with the first one.

So Tyra Banks had a stalker

Apparently Tyra Banks had a stalker that has been caught and part of his sentence is that he has to successfully complete an "Anti-Stalking Class". Is that not officially like the best idea ever?? So, how I imagine it is kinda like what they do with Joey on Friends. Maybe I'm the only one that has watched every single episode but for those that are freaks like me do you remember when Rachel was teaching Joey "good thing, bad thing"? And when stuff happened that would freak a normal person out he was all excited and she was all, "Remember how we talked about good thing, bad thing? Now Joey, this is a BAD thing."
I would totally PAY to sit in that anti-stalking class. I imagine the instructor would be listing things off, like, "Watching someone with binonculars while they're sleeping? BAD THING. Following people home? BAD THING." and then of course one of the stalkers would be like, "Well what if we call someone . . . " and the instructor would be all,"well, I guess good thi-" and he finishes,"37 times a day?" And the instructor was all "No, no, no calling 37 times a day is a BAD THING!" (Instead of saying the pledge of allegiance they probably all sing their theme song "Every Step You Take." I know, I'm totally beating that dead horse, but it's hilarious . .. . .to me, anyway. )

So, I'm super freakin frustrated

So - some people know, some people don't but I have a hard time (to put it lightly) sleeping. It started in college when I couldn't sleep at night because our dorm room door slammed shut whenever people opened it and I wasn't used to people being around and talking, listening to music, etc when I was trying to sleep. So my mom gave me over the counter sleeping pills. They worked, and I took 2 on nights that it was really hard to doze off. That was, what, like 3 years ago? Man, I'm old. Anyway, so since then I've gotten steadly worse and not being able to sleep. It's gotten to the point now that I am taking 6 benedryl and 3 over the counter sleeping pills to even have a chance of getting sleep. I'm tried getting off multiple times and I'll literally go 72 hours with no sleep before I cave and take some meds. The amount that I'm taking is something I realize is not healthy - I get that - but even that isn't making a difference anymore. Last night I think I got about 3 hours. And even when I do get sleep its not goo dquality sleep because I have sleep apnea and all these other issues that keep me waking up. This is getting to be the norm. And I'm sick to death of it. I'll be watching a show on tv where a character like falls asleep in class or something and I get actually mad thinking how unfair it is that people can just fall asleep so easily. I've tried 4 different prescription sleeping pills - none of them made a difference. I accidentally took them during the day and didn't realize it until hours later. Made no difference at all. One dr finally gave me one prescription that was really strong he said and it did make me fall asleep - but I felt like I was under water for like 20 hours. He called to see if it worked and I told him yes, but I couldn't function the next day. He said he was suprised that I woke up the next day at all because the drug he gave me is something they only give hospitalized patients that need to be put to sleep for a very long time. He said most people sleep at least 24 hours with it and it is extremely strong. So, yeah. If I could sleep all day, that would work. But at the time I was supposed to be at work at 6am. Now, I work at 7 am. So, I went back to my coctail of benedryl and sleeping pills. But I am SO sick of it. My patience is like nonexistant when I'm this tired and I feel bad because I will snap at people and get angry at the stupidest things and it seems so lame to say that its because I'm tired. But it really is, I've been tired for years now. I'm not looking for solutions on here or sympathy, its just been one of those days where I feel like I cannot even function - I've come close to slapping a coworker because she was humming. It's not good. I shouldn't be allowed in public when I'm this tired. Ok, thats the end.

So, my shoe broke. AGAIN. Oh, and birth control. Don't ask me how they are related.

So, I have this curse where I break like everything I come in contact with. It's forced me to get warranties for anything over $20. (Which - all warranties by the way always exclude coverage if the product was water damaged. So, if my laptop gets dropped in a toilet I'm so totally going to run it over with my car so that when I bring it in they can't be all, 'Ma'm that thing is still dripping from the toilet water. We don't cover toilet accidents.') Anyways, (wait - back up, why would my latop get dropped in the toilet? I don't normally make it a habit to check my email on the toilet. Well, anymore than the average person. Which is like 3 times a week, right?) ANYWAYS, so I break things. And I have literally had 9 flip flops break while I've been at work. And always while I am sitting. I wasn't running, or doing jumping jacks, (that would be a site, huh?) , no I was just sitting there and POP! they just self destructed. So I have tried to repair them with anything I could find at the office which includes staples - which, by the way - DON"T DO!! The staples get loose while you are walking and the staples wedge themselves INTO YOUR FOOT. Using tape is a joke - glue never dries, and paper clips don't fit. You would think that after breaking my shoes that many times I would learn and buy better shoes or bring a spare. Well, I didn't stop buying the $2 flip flops at Old Navy but I did bring a spare. And that worked fabulously until my shoes broke again and I wore my spares home. And never brought them back. So today my flip flops broke yet again, and I had no spare. But, I found string! And the string worked better than all the other attempts combined. And they add a bit of style, I think. Not enough style that I'll wear them again, but just enough that I proudly showed my handiwork to my colleagues. And they all shook their heads and muttered something about getting back on medication. 

So, totally off subject, but who else totally loves the YAZ commercial? You know, the birth control? Ok - so this chick comes on and says, "So basically, the FDA called our bluff. Apparently you can't pretend that your birth control has like super magical powers like promising no PMS or the cure for cancer. So, all that stuff before? Just like, pretend it didn't happen, k? YAZ is just a regular old birth control pills. HAPPY FDA????" It's like the best commercial ever. Just for full disclosure - that wasn't a direct quote, more like paraphrasing. I so think my version is better. 

So I'm Undecided . . . .

So this song, "Every Breath You Take", is it a sweet, sentimental love song or a super creepy anthem that unites stalkers everywhere? What do you think?

Every Breath You Take lyrics

Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I'll be watching you.
Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
I'll be watching you.
Oh can't you see
You belong to me?
How my poor heart aches with every step you take.
Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
I'll be watching you.
Since you've gone I've been lost without a trace.
I dream at night, I can only see your face.
I look around but it's you I can't replace.
I feel so cold and I long for your embrace
I keep calling baby, baby please..................
Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
I'll be watching you.
Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
I'll be watching you....... 

So, A look inside the mind of Chelsie . . . it's a scary, scary place folks.

So for those that don't know, I work at Amex in Merchant Services. I talk to tons of people every day and sometimes speak to people whose names are just . . . odd. One that I had a couple of months ago was named Ikram U. Butt . We are supposed to call them Ms. or Mr. and their last name, but I just couldn't call him Mr. Butt. I couldn't do it. I called him sir, and thankfully didn't laugh while I was on the call. Then I got another weird one today, and his name was LaBoob Butt. (What is with all the butts?) And being the freak that I am I wondered how the heck someone would name their kid LaBoob Butt. Then I got a visual of his mom in labor with him and after 20 something hours in labor she was ticked and tired and was angry that the kid wouldn't just come out already. When he is finally born the nurses whisk him away and one nurse turns to the mom and says,
"I need a name for the boy. You know, to put on his birth certificate."
The mom is still gasping for breath after working so hard for the little guy and is well, a little hormonal and says,
" I DON'T CARE!! I'm tired and I want to sleep! Leave me alone!"
The nurse looks at her and says,
" I understand that. But this is your son, and he needs a name."
The mom, now even more angry says,
" FINE!! I'll name him LaBoob Butt."
The nurse looks confused and said
" Um, but your last name is Jones."
and the mom says,
"Yeah, well, he came OUT OF MY BUTT!"
This is how my mind works. Its very entertaining but makes me wonder if I should be kept in padded room at all times.

So, it was Cambree's 3rd Birthday!

Cambree turned 3! I offered to make the cake - kinda dumb of me, I stress out too much over it, then I watch it get eaten right after it was done being made. Cambree is OBSESSED with princesses, and so I wanted a princess cake.

She looked so happy when she saw the cake. It made all the work worth it.

I put a ton of candles on the cake, because as a kid, I thought the candles were the best part. She looked a little overwhelmed when she saw them all lit. She went to town trying to blow them out, and just couldn't get the job done. We recruited the other kids to join blowing them out. Then the kids just started digging in. It was so funny. Ridge looked like a little monkey on the table, eating away. So cute.

So We Went Swimming . . .

Being in Phoenix in the summer makes it almost impossible to be outside without going swimming. We had Cambree and Ridge here for about a week and a half and while they were here they loved going swimming. They were sitting outside drying off and Cambree started grooming Jarica's hair. 

So, Catching Up . . .

So, I'll start at the beginning. So for mother's day my dad and uncles rented a stretch hummer and took them out to dinner and a movie. It was quite the event. 

She also got these GORGEOUS roses from my sister Kayla among other things. I couldn't get over how pretty they were. 

We also got to have Cambree and Ridge, my niece and nephew over. They are the CUTEST kids ever. I could just take pics of them all day. And sometimes, I do. Here's some of my favs from their visit: 

 Cambree wouldn't cooperate and smile for me, and was being kinda grumpy and just started staring out into the distance. Even when she's not happy, she's still gorgeous.

I got this one of Ridge when he was bouncing on a stability ball with my sister Jarica. He's such a happy boy.

So, Playing "Your Mom" jokes on older people: not a good idea.

So I have a "cubie" which is a person that sits in the same cube as me at work. She's nice but she's always talking and loud and asking questions. And normally her questions are silly and kind of get annoying and so today she asked,

"Who sent me this email?"

Without turning around I just said,

"Your mom."

I thought maybe she'd get the hint that I don't know and that I'm involved doing my own important work. (Ok, so I was just playing solitaire. So what?) Instead she says,

" I wish it was from my mom. She died last year. I would give anything to talk to her again."

Then she got really quiet and stopped talking for awhile. So I guess I got the result I was looking for, (a quiet cubie) but I'm now officially the worst person in the history of the world. So I figure its a fair trade-off.

So this is my First Fondant Cake

So it was my sis Kayla's birthday last Saturday so I decided to try to make a birthday cake out of fondant. Not as easy as it looks. I started out with white fondant and decided to color it for many reasons, but mostly because apparently fondant tastes disgusting. So I added chocolate to the white fondant and voilah! brown fondant. I don't know why it suprised me that it changed color, but it did. Stop judging me.

So if I'm ever in a bad mood I just have to look at this . . . .

So this is the sign that is on the property of my work Amex. The first time I saw it I got this hilarious mental image of a group of middle aged men walking out of the building on their lunch break carrying shovels over their shoulders and whistling. They reach the sign and just stare blankly at it and then they look at each other,

"Fiber optic what?"

"Did someone see us digging last time?"

"What are we going to do during our lunch break now?"

"Aw, man. This is the only hobby I had!"

Then they turn around and walk back into the building. Cracks me up every time.

So I can't make macaroni and cheese, but I can make cakes?

I'm in a cake decorating class with Katy and this is the only one I made that was presentable. Sad day.

So I guess this is what you should expect when you pay $32 for a hotel . . .

I went to Flagstaff to see my sister Kayla last weekend and we stayed in a cheap hotel. I was really excited about the deal I got until I got to the hotel and realized how much money I would be spending at Target in order to be remotely okay with staying there longer than an hour. The room smelled like old people/feet/mold, so of course I needed Febreeze, the sheets looked, well, questionable,

so I got a new pillow, we brought 

candles to help with the smell too. I almost got a blanket until the cheapest one Target had was $50. So I toughed it out. 

The door had this random plastic thing 

just sticking out of the wall next to the door.

There was absolutely no purpose for it.

There was only one possible outlet to use . .  . right behind the tv. Seriously? Anytime we had to plug in a phone charger, or laptop, or straightener, we had to jump over the cord.

Then . . . saving best for last . . . . the bathroom door. Well, I'm guessing they had GENIUS architects for this motel, and they didn't build enough room so that the door could open without hitting the toilet. So, they CUT A HOLE IN THE DOOR. Classy!

So, there's a book called Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

Yeah, you read that right. I did not make that up. Apparently someone thought that the one thing missing from the Jane Austin collection was putting dead people with no souls in there. It is now complete. Of course I had to check this book out online to make sure this author wasn't expecting people to take their book too seriously. I was sadly mistaken. I came across this review from a Hokie4VT who said:

"My main problem was all the ridiculous nonsense about ninjas and dojos. I mean, come on. It is certainly believable that the sisters would have learned different fighting arts but traveling to the "Orient" and studying with martial arts masters? I doubt very seriously if they could have afforded to travel to China and it would have been much more realistic to have focused on European fighting methods. [ . . . ]I couldn't get over the scene where Elizabeth kills three of Lady Catherine's ninjas and then eats part of one of their hearts. "

Apparently this reader found the book too far out there because the fighting arts originate from China. Really?!? That's the only thing keeping this from being realistic? Wow. WOW.